Couples Retreat Tops Weekend Box Office, Despite Looking Awful

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Couples Retreat, Vince Vaughn, Weekend box officeGood for Vince Vaughn. After Fred Claus and Four Christmases, people thought he could only make godawful Christmas films.

But who’s laughing now? Couples Retreat – the newest Vince Vaughn movie – is the number one movie at the weekend box office, so take that everyone. Couples Retreat has proved once and for all that Vince Vaughn doesn’t only make godawful Christmas films – he makes godawful films that are completely independent of traditional religious festivals, as well. Vince Vaughn wins again!

Oh, and Couples Retreat co-star Jon Favreau wins again, too! God knows how badly that man needed a hit movie.

So Couples Retreat is the number one movie at the US weekend box office. We for one are pleased to hear it – after all, it has a who’s who of comedy for a cast list, including Fred Claus, that fat bloke who always has bit-parts in Vince Vaughn films, the woman from Ben Stiller’s forgotten 2007 The Heartbreak Kid remake, Leon, the least interesting one from Sex And The City, someone from Who’s Your Caddy and Jason Bateman from Teenwolf Too. That has weekend box office success written all over it, doesn’t it?

Anyway, enough of this nonsense. Let’s crack on with the weekend box office top five…

1 – Couples Retreat (We’re disappointed that Couples Retreat is the weekend box office number one, because its success might stop Vince Vaughn from making any more Christmas movies. Because, come on, what says Christmas more than a fat bloke endlessly yammering a bunch of directionless flabby ad-libs in an embarrassing film that you feel somehow tricked into watching?) $35,340,000

2 - Zombieland (Hands up who else heard that Zombieland was a movie about a violent idiot running around a land full of drooling, unthinking walking cadavers and immediately assumed that it was a documentary about the Isle Of Sheppy? No? Just us?) $15,000,000

3 - Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs (Let’s just all agree that we ran out of things to say about this movie long ago and move on. Deal?) $12,000,000

4 - Toy Story / Toy Story 2 (3D) (Looks like re-releasing Toy Story in 3D made a lot of financial success. And that means one thing – the Alvin & The Chipmunks 3D re-release can only be days away. Hooray!) $7,674,000

5 - Paranormal Activity (A Blair Witch-style mockumentary that some people are calling the scariest film ever. By people who haven’t seen Big Momma’s House 2, presumably) $7,066,000

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