Frankly staggering news now as Coronation Street bosses have announced actress Kate Ford will be signing on for another year as Monsoon clad northern strumpet Tracy Barlow.

On the eve of the Pope’s funeral, Windsor security scares and even some existential chatter about Nicole Kidman’s DNA, this is the one story to eclipse them all.

hecklerspray has moved fast on this employment revelation. And when you consider there are currently 1.4 million people out of work in the UK you can keep your ‘who is the next James Bond’ malarkey. We know who it is; we’re just not going to say for risk of overshadowing this momentous announcement.

Desperately searching for someone to go on record regarding Kate Ford’s job we contacted the Number Ten (but they were watching old Professionals dvds), the White House (playing Connect 4), we even tried the Vatican, but they seemed busy for some reason. 

Coronation Street is still the UK’s most watched soap opera, despite strong competition from Family Affairs and occasional re-runs of The Young Doctors.

Ford couldn’t help but reveal more about her amazing career on the Street, “I won’t be going until 2006.” Hold up there’s more, “There are a lot of things to play.”

There it is then, the story of the century.  If you’ve not made it this far you’ve just missed out on the one thing every single person on the planet will be discussing over coffee and a Viscount. 

Tide yourself over until the next episode with all the quality Kate Ford memorabilia you can purchase on eBay. It’ll make her like you, you see.

[story by Chris Laverty]