As a former Big Brother housemate, Coolio had two options open to him – public nudity or a fitness DVD.

But Coolio is his own man. And that’s why he’s chosen a third way – being charged with crack possession and battery after allegedly being caught with quantities of the drug at LAX.

We’re surprised too. Who’d have thought that Coolio – the objectionable bulgy-eyed hasbeen rapper who can’t buy hats without thinking “I know, I’ll chop a bloody great hole in this hat so that my hair sticks out the top like a SODDING PINEAPPLE” – would be involved with crack? For shame.

Celebrity Big Brother can do funny things to a person. If you’re Claire Sweeney it can help to launch a short-lived career as a musical star before you’re forced to do adverts for Dulux inbetween Dancing On Ice segments. If you’re Les Dennis it can lead you to have a full-blown nervous breakdown on live television. And if you’re us then it can make you genuinely dream about quitting your job to become a travelling carpet salesman.

But Coolio? Coolio seems to have got it right. After spending three weeks in the Big Brother house shouting bizarrely offensive non-sequiturs at a booby dullard until she cried, Coolio appears to have done what many of us would do if put into the same situation. That is to say, it looks like Coolio might have picked up something of a crack habit.

He might not have done, of course. There might be a perfectly reasonable explanation for Coolio being arrested for allegedly having quantities of crack and a crack pipe in his luggage at an airport, and then going a bit mental and battering someone. Like, maybe he was making an informative children’s documentary called Coolio Shows The Kids What Drugs Look Like And The Correct Way To Use Them But Then Explains Why They Probably Shouldn’t Afterwards. Or something. We’re not experts.

Anyway, Coolio’s just been charged with all that stuff, anyway. MTV reports:

Rapper Coolio, was charged with possession of crack cocaine and battery on Tuesday (March 10), following his arrest on Friday after an alleged incident at the Los Angeles International Airport. According to a press release, Coolio, 45, was arrested at LAX after “authorities searched his luggage and allegedly found cocaine. At one point, [Coolio] allegedly grabbed a screener’s arm to prevent the search.”

Coolio is due in court early next month. If convicted he faces three years in jail. Not that it’ll be a bad thing for him, of course – in many ways, jail is a lot like the Celebrity Big Brother house, with the added bonuses that a) nobody really minds if you stab someone in the ribs, and b) Tommy Titting Sheridan won’t be in there.

Of course, there’s every chance that Coolio won’t be convicted of his charges and will escape jail. Fingers crossed that it doesn’t come to that, though, because jails have hot food and shelter and Coolio hasn’t really been famous for about 15 years so he’s probably forgotten what either of those things are like.

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