Rewards can come in many different forms, like money, medals, admiration or letting Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher make godawful-sounding film about you. And, you’re right, only an idiot wouldn’t pick the last one given the choice.

Kevin Costner – who hasn’t been famous for about a decade, and Ashton Kutcher – who hasn’t been famous ever, have teamed up to make The Guardian, a film about how clever and brave Kevin Costner the Coast Guard is. And – in a genius stroke of marketing, er, genius – Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher are promoting The Guardian by going round telling a bunch of Coast Guards how brilliant they are, in the hope that they will become so dazzled by the praise that they will be temporarily hypnotised enough to be coerced into actually paying to see this rubbishy-looking film.