No, really. Actual fascists. Cliff Richard would have won Eurovision in 1968 if it weren’t for those darn fascists. Really.

A documentary was aired on Spanish TV last night claiming that Cliff Richard was the rightful winner of the 1968 Eurovision Song Contest in London, but General Franco’s fascist regime rigged the vote in Spain’s favour.

These are just claims, of course, and we have no reason to believe that they’re true – firstly because if you can’t trust an all-powerful unblinking facist dictatorship then who can you trust, and secondly because Cliff Richard is going to be really sodding unbearable once he finds out about it.