When it comes to failed American Idol contestants from four years ago, Clay Aiken is probably the biggest name around – so big that he seems to think he can go around putting his feet on the armrests of other plane passengers willy-nilly.
You wouldn't think it to look at his infuriatingly wet, Jesusy face, but under Clay Aiken's simpering, smarmy skin beats the heart of a rebel. The sort of rebel who doesn't think twice when it comes to getting on an aeroplane and putting his feet on someone else's armrest. Of course, Clay Aiken's rebellious nature loses a bit of credibility when it emerges that Clay Aiken only puts his feet on armrests belong to a girl, and the girl gets so angry that she pushes Clay around enough for the FBI to get involved, but the important thing is that Clay Aiken doesn't care about rules. No, wait, what are we talking about? The most important thing is that Clay Aiken got shoved around by a girl on a plane.
As much as we laugh about the stalled careers of British talent-show contestants like Shayne Ward and Leona Lewis, at least we're happy enough to admit that it isn't just a British problem, as waves and waves of American Idol contestants are happy to prove. Sexy vegetarian girl aside, and what have you got? Nobody has heard of Taylor Hicks since that awful Doobie Brothers single he released, Kelly Clarkson is in the middle of a career meltdown and we're buggered if we can even remember the names of any other American Idol contestants, which probably says a lot. Sure, Jennifer Hudson may have won an Oscar, but there are only so many 'overweight singer' movie roles in the world, so we wonder how long her acting career will actually last.
And then there's Clay Aiken, who lost American Idol in 2003. People like Clay Aiken because he's so painfully inoffensive that he barely exists. Put Clay Aiken next to a puppy dressed as a ballerina and his endless cutesy bumbling would make it look like a snarling blood-hungry wolf. Clay Aiken is the sort of person who writes inspirational books with titles like Learning To Sing: Hearing The Music In Your Life – titles that make us want to puke blood on a nun's hat. However, there's more to Clay Aiken than just being mild-mannered to the extent that people actually find him creepy, because Clay Aiken is also able to get in very inconsequential spats with plane passengers about his feet, as Forbes reports:
Singer Clay Aiken apparently got into a dispute with a woman during a flight to Tulsa, drawing some scrutiny from FBI agents but no charges, a newspaper reported. FBI Special Agent Gary Johnson told the Tulsa World there was a dispute between a male passenger and a woman on the flight. He said the man was a former "American Idol" contestant but did not give his name. Johnson said the dispute was over the male passenger's foot resting on the woman's armrest. He said there was an allegation the woman gave the male passenger a "minor shove" during the argument. "At that point the flight crew was able to resolve the situation," Johnson said.
See, other American Idol contestants – this is how you stay famous. All you have to do is follow Clay Aiken's lead. Not by being all Jesusy and irritating, obviously, but by getting into the most insignificant scrapes you can on public transport. We're sure we'd be talking about Ruben Studdard more if he dropped a newspaper on a bus and refused to pick it up, and Fantasia Burrino would be the most famous woman in the world if she did more guffs in packed trams, of that we're sure.