Circus By Britney Spears: The Non-Awaited Tracklisting
Britney Spears called her new album Circus because her life is a circus – she either plays the Sad Clown or the Bearded Lady in it, by the way.
But, aside from the fact that it’s called Circus and the lead single from it sounds like a berserk feminist cyborg running out of power, nobody knows a darn thing about Britney Spears’ new album. Until now, that is, because the album art and tracklisting to Circus by Britney Spears has just been released. We know. At least try to contain yourself.
From what we can tell from the sleeve, Circus by Britney Spears seems to be a concept album about a slightly morose woman spending so much money on lawyers in a failed attempt to win custody of her children that she’s resorted to getting her album art done on the cheap in one of those bleepy Japanese photobooths you find in arcades. As for the tracklisting, you’ll need to read on for that.
Britney Spears albums always reflect Britney’s state of mind at the time she made them. …Baby One More Time and Oops!… I Did It Again were released when Britney Spears was just a young girl with nothing to worry about other than her excessive and grammatically-confusing use of ellipsis. Britney showed that Britney Spears had become famous enough to carry an album by her first name alone. In The Zone showed Britney’s first sign of rebellion, where she stood in collection zone B at Argos even though her receipt clearly directed her to collection zone D. Then Blackout reflected the fact that Britney Spears could barely go a day without collapsing or vomiting onto boys.
And now Britney Spears is releasing Circus, a cute nod to the fact that watching Britney Spears perform these days is like watching a sad-eyed Russian bear covered in cigarette burns hop around joylessly on a metal platform that’s got an electrical current running through it.
The difference between Blackout and Circus is both clear and immediate. In the artwork to Blackout, Britney Spears can be seen getting off with a sexy priest, but the just-released cover of Circus shows that the old Britney Spears is back – the Britney Spears who couldn’t be any less offensive if she was made from digestive biscuits and rainwater.
But the patronisingly cheap-looking artwork to Circus isn’t all that’s just been released – the final tracklisting for the album has also been announced. So let’s analyse that instead:
1. Womanizer – Already a number one hit. Sample lyrics: “Womanizer womanizer/ womanizer/ Oh! Womanizer oh! Womanizer.”
2. Circus - The next single. Sample lyrics: “Circus circus circus/ circus oh!/ Circus circus oh! Circus/ circus/ Oh!”
3. Out From Under – An alarmingly graphic description of what it was like to be stuck underneath Adnan Ghalib in the moments directly after his ejaculation.
4. Kill The Lights – Originally entitled Kill The Whites.
5. Shattered Glass – An account of the time that Britney Spears smashed up a car with an umbrella. Alternative titles included Dented Bonnet, Ruptured Grill and Tatty Exhaust Pipe.
6. If U Seek Amy – A song about the amygdala, the part of the brain that controls arousal and fear and is therefore the only part of Britney Spears’ brain that actually works properly.
7. Unusual You – AKA The Lack Of Self-Awareness Song.
8. Blur – A song about 1990s Britpop band Blur. The belated follow-up to 2002’s Shed Seven.
9. Mmm Papi – Originally supposed to be a cover version of Oom Pa Pa from the musical Oliver that had to be changed at the last minute because Britney Spears can’t even pronounce simple words properly.
10. Mannequin – An appreciation of the 1987 sex doll comedy rendered wistful by the fact that the director Michael Gottileb never directed anything other movies after 1993’s Hulk Hogan film Mr Nanny.
11. Lace and Leather – Where Britney Spears describes her favourite bedroom outfit. Her favourite, mind you, not the one the wears most nights, otherwise it’d be called Incontinence Pants And A Boxer’s Gumshield To Stop Me Gnawing Through My Restraints.
12. My Baby – The song where Britney Spears realises she can’t remember what either of her children look like because it’s been so long she was last declared mentally well enough to see them.
13. Radar – A climactic reevaluation of the invention of radar. Includes the line “Your electromagnetic waves identify the range, altitude, direction or speed of both moving and fixed objects such as aircraft, ships, motor vehicles, weather formations, and terrain/ Oh baby baby.”
WHAT A FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU …BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER…
YOU ARE THE SICK ONE…BRITNEY IS DOING REALLY GOOD AND SHE IS GONNA BE ON THE TOP OF THE CHARTS AGAIN…
YEAH WHAT THE FOOK IS WRONG WITH YOU STUART YOU …ER..NAUGHTY BASTARD!!!
Jorge I couldn’t of said it better myself, just because this writter is a sheep that goes with the crowd when a popstar has a blip in her career
BRITNEY IS BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER, womanizer got number 1 IN AMERICA so if anyone tries to argue with that then they are wrong
ok john, i got one for you: music charts do not reflect the general populace when it comes to music trends. compare the amount of records sales it takes to get to number 1 now, to how many you needed say, ooooh, 20 years ago….done that? notice the massive, massive difference?
that’s because the only people who buy singles are: fanboys, teenagers, the artist’s mum, small children’s parents, and sometimes, SOMETIMES a debut single.
what does all this equate to i hear your mouth breathing face enquire? dont use the charts as your main argument. the amount of sales needed to get number 1 represents how much of your country’s population?
oh wait, i forgot one off my list: 40 y/o britney fans who “just want to see her at her prime again!!”
also WTF IS URE PROBLEM HECKLESPRAY??? BRITNEY IS OVER NINE THOUSAND!!11!!!!1111
Is there a single Britney Spears fan in the world who can write correct English? Or even just spell the words?
Anyway, John, if that is indeed the correct spelling of your name; George W. Bush also got No. 1 in America, twice over, so the majority opinion of Americans is obviously not a reliable indicator of quality.
What a load of shite this article is. HATER. Britneys back bitch and she is on fine form…cant the world just be pleased for her? why do we always have to shoot people down and see them suffer? do you get off on that or something?? its screwed
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. People are allowed to not like Britney. Personally, I am a huge fan. We all need to get this through our heads: Britney Spears is the epitome of the term “international superstar”. She has been the most sought out figure in the world since her second album came out in 2000. Whether we like her or not, the world cannot get enough of Britney. If you don’t like her so much, why would you take the time to write this article? I find it sick that the media and haters took pleasure in her fall from grace. I can’t even imagine having to deal with what she goes through on a daily basis; the woman can’t even walked down the street without 50 paparzzi around her. She is the Madonna of our generation and let’s face it, she’s back and is going to take the world by storm…again.
-A Britney fan who can write correct English and spell the words
wtf are u on about ? u dont no britney and u think u can treat her like s**t. her new single make a record and got to number one. so fuck u asshole
“She has been the most sought out figure in the world since her second album came out in 2000.”
Admittedly, she has spent most of her time since then shaving her head and covering herself in her own poop. She’s like GG Allin, only without the good music.
Ironlung & Julian Mentat what is your problem!?!?!?!? attacking me just because I stuck up for Britney aka God, and anyway she is the 8th best selling female artist in the world so there
Britney if you ever read this you the best and don’t listen to stupid people who say your music is no good
You haven’t even heard her album yet your already bashing her. Fuck off. This post was neither witty nor funny, so you FAIL.
Dear John,
Shut up.
Shut up.
Shut up.
britney is amazing nuff said, and everyone stop bashing John he left his comments like everyone else.
You say its “non-awaited” but you wrote up a review about her current album and your predictions based on a tracklisting…. yeeeeeeeeeea.. STFU. lol
“Britney aka God”
awesome
“and everyone stop bashing John he left his comments like everyone else”
Well, since this is the internet we can’t exactly rub his nose in it, can we? This will have to do.
I must admit that I also think its a shame how people make fun of the poor girl and take pleasure in seeing her hit rock bottom.I Am a dancer and I auditioned for her DWAD tour in 2002 and made the cut.I danced for her in the first 2 legs off the tour and she is a vert sweet and smart girl and extremely talented and down to earth and caring(not a stuck up snot like most of you)After dancing with her for 3 months and seeing how her mangers pulled at her and how she barely got any rest seeing as how she was always doing on thing then the next without ever complaining its a wonder she didnt break down sooner.I dont know all of her story but i do think that people should give her a break and stop bashing the sweet girl,She works extremly hard to put on a show and is no slack and io think she deserves some common respect.
Releasing albums in such short intervals is a sign of struggle and desperate attention for an artist.
Britney is an untalented chick who happened to get immensely big in the late 90’s Teen pop craze and her time is long past. Granted, she can dance and be a role model for young white girls however those are her only positive qualities.
FUNNY HOW UN POPULAR SHE IS HAHAHAHA LIES
WHEN YOU TYPE B ON YOUTUBE BRITNEY SPEARS POPS UP
WHEN YOU TYPE IN B ON YAHOO. BRITNEY SPEARS POPS UP
WHEN YOU TYPE B ON GOOGLE BRITNEY SPEARS POPS UP
WHEN YOU TYPE IN B ON MSN BRITNEY POPS UP
SO SHE MUST BE VERY POPULAR FOR ONE LETTER TO SEARCH A NAME…
hahahahha
i love how your talking so much shit about britney spears and you cant even spell the word analyze.
A-N-A-L-Y-Z-E. Check it hoe.
and your ass should check your shit. if you haven’t noticed she is doing pretty good these days. Poke fun about the past all you want. Now it’s nothing but the past.
and WTF kind of name is Stuart anyway?
Like Julian, all that surprises me is that the poor girl didn’t have a miniature inner holocaust sooner… no one can live that kind of life without getting badly hurt at least once – and BritBrit didn’t even get a halfway-normal adolescence. Poor girl will never be able to go anywhere without mobs of idiot screaming camera-toting paps, if her shoes don’t perfectly match her outfit it’s all over People, and heaven forbid she be a human being once in a while. It’s SICK the way you haters treat her, as though you take pleasure in watching the (probably) single most overexposed human on the planet struggle through hard times. She lost her childhood, and now her adulthood’s gone, too… So I’m torn whether to support her through buying the album, or not getting it, so that no money goes to the people who drive her like this.
This Stuart guy sounds like an idiot.. Wherever you went to study journalism should be proud…not..
God.. StormTroooper is just as dumb. Untalented? Sounds like yourself