Christmas Number One Betting Odds: Angels, Tomlinson, McFly

It's day two of our three-day Christmas number one betting extravaganza, where we spend three days vainly pretending that Leona Lewis out of X Factor won't be number one on Sunday before eventually realising that she will.

The history of the Christmas number one is littered with classics, from Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer to Mistletoe And Wine to Merry Christmas Everyone, but no Christmas number one has ever captured the spirit of Christmas quite so succinctly as Can We Fix It? by Bob The Builder, a song that perfectly encapsulates the traditional Christmas Day scene of your Mum knackering the turkey by forgetting to take the giblets out, your dog knocking the Christmas tree over and your Dad slowly losing his temper with whatever loud bleepy toy your drunk grandparents have bought you as revenge for never visiting them. Christmas is so magical isn't it?  

But what about the songs in the running for Christmas number one this year? Here are the Christmas number one betting odds for All Angels, Ricky Tomlinson and McFly…

All Angels: Angels - So far, all these Christmas number one hopefuls have all been dreadful novelty songs geared towards lowest common denominator morons, but where are all the pseudo-tasteful novelty songs geared towards lowest common denominator morons who think they're better than the other lowest common denominator morons? Why, here of course. All Angels are four girls who aren't pretty in the slightest but seem to think they are, and they sing dumbed-down opera. How dumbed-down? Dumbed-down enough to think that doing a Robbie Williams cover version is a good idea. It isn't a good idea, by the way. It's a really shit idea, and we're going to explode the world if it becomes Christmas number one. Current Christmas Number One betting odds - 8/1 

Ricky Tomlinson: Christmas My Arse - There are certain things that make Christmas Christmas. Realising you dislike the majority of people you're related to is one, and comedians shoehorning their old catchphrases into rubbish Christmas singles accompanied by videos made with 10p budgets is another one. Ricky Tomlinson has made a career out of shoddy 'my arse' merchandise, like Football My Arse, Celebrities My Arse, Laughter My Arse, Music My Arse and the ill-fated plastic surgery venture My Arse My Arse. And now there's Christmas My Arse. Have you heard Christmas My Arse by Ricky Tomlinson? If you haven't, we're deeply envious of you - we heard it once, and not even plunging knitting needles into our ears and nostrils has got the bad noises out of our brains yet. Christmas Number One Betting odds - 8/1

McFly: Sorry's Not Good Enough/ Friday Night - Good God, are McFly still together? We'd always assumed that they'd have split up as soon as they realised that nobody really liked the one with the soggy mouth. Anyway, it's endearing that McFly think they can get a Christmas number one record with the third single from an album that most people can't even remember being released in the first place. But Sorry's Not Good Enough isn't the only song on this tiresome double A-side - it's also backed by Friday Night, which is apparently the official song of rubbish-looking Ben Stiller movie Night At The Museum. Let's hope that all the fans of films where Robin Williams does a funny voice at Ben Stiller all rush out and buy enough copies of Sorry's Not Good Enough/ Friday Night to get McFly to Christmas number one, right? Hello? Anyone? Anyone? Current Christmas Number One Betting Odds - 6/1

Tomorrow - Christmas Number One betting odds for Take That, Girls Aloud and Leona Lewis…