Christina Ricci Sorry For Wearing Furry Clothes

Christina Ricci is in an unenviable situation. Not only does her giant inflatable head prevent her from being able to explore the majesty of the stalactite display at Treak Cavern in Derbyshire for fear of popping, but also she annoys people by wearing fur.

You see, Christina Ricci - star of The Addams Family and no other films that you're ever likely to go and see - was recently named by PETA as one of the worst-dressed human beings on the face of the entire planet after she appeared on the front cover of a magazine draped in some kind of animal fur. But after literally both of her fans decided that they didn't want to the fans of a dirty fur-wearer, Christina Ricci has learnt the error of her ways and has promised never to wear animal fur again, as proved on the cover of the January issue of Vogue, where Christina Ricci can be seen dressed in the leathery skin of a homeless man, complete with a necklace made from lips and a natty nipple belt.

Of all the shame you'd think that Christina Ricci was capable of feeling, the bulk of it would come from either being a recurring character in Ally McBeal or starring in a Moby video. But although either of these would be enough for many people to close the garage door, start the engine and get the hosepipe out, Christina Ricci kept plugging away oblivious to the further ignominy that was about to be piled on her.

That came when world-famous Beyonce bothering and Sadie Frost-stripping animal rights group PETA listed its annual rundown of worst-dressed celebrities. Obviously PETA tend to only link being badly-dressed to wearing fur - Jude Law could go to a premiere dressed up as Timmy Mallett's extrovert cousin and, so long as no animals were harmed, he'd be safe - but the list is still guaranteed to attract ridicule for whoever features on it.

The winner of the 2006 worst-dressed award was Nicole Richie, who sadly was too busy driving the wrong way up a motorway off her face on drugs to really take in the enormity of the situation. But at least someone on PETA's list felt the burning shame of being called badly-dressed on the internet - child-star turned former child-star Christina Ricca. Sky reports:

[Christina] was named one of People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals' (Peta) worst dressed celebrity of 2006 after she appeared in fur on the cover of W magazine. And it doesn't end there. Even her fans turned their backs on her, resulting with her fansite being shut down.

But this story has a happy ending. Realising that without her small but dedicated but creepy band of fans, her career would disappear even further, Christina Ricci did the only thing she could and delivered a grovelling apology to all of God's creatures:

"After being named on the Peta worst dressed list for wearing fur on the cover of W magazine, I have been deluged with angry and disappointed fans. I never meant to hurt nor anger anyone with my insensitivity. For what it is worth, I have received the message loud and clear and will not be wearing fur in the future. I apologise for my offensive actions."

Not only will Christina Ricci never wear any more fur ever again, but she's also sent word to halt production of the Christina Ricci-branded Reebok trainers that were made entirely from puppy dogs and butterflies. And PETA are so grateful that Christina got the message that she's been removed from the worst-dressed list and has been sent a Christmas basket of "cruelty-free goodies" direct from PETA HQ.

Meanwhile hecklerspray, which has never even come close to wearing any kind of fur in its entire lifetime, gets sent nothing from PETA. Well that changes right now PETA, you hear? We're going out and we're not coming back until we've strangled enough kittens to fashion an attractive sports jacket. We hope you're proud.

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Christina Says Sorry - Sky