OK, the headline could be a tad misleading, as it’s questionable as to whether grabbing a boob without consent constitutes rape, or indeed whether a monkey has the faculties to be accused of such an act.
Be that as it may, it is an attention-grabbing headline that we’ve used to reel you in to a comparatively unsensational story. Let’s move on.
Christina Ricci, who was already a Maimouphobiac (scared of monkeys) was sexually assaulted on the set of her latest film Penelope by Chim Chim The Chimpanzee.
Christina Ricci said:
"I'm afraid of monkeys, but I had decided not to be afraid of Chim Chim because no one else is. I thought, 'Everyone else thinks he's awesome so just be cool.'”
But it seems the actress – playing a woman born with a pig's nose – played it a bit too cool, and the socially-inept Chim Chim couldn’t contain himself.
“It's the first day of shooting and I have this kitchen scene where I'm sitting down and Chim Chim is sitting right next to me. Of course, it freaks out during the take and grabs my left breast and will not let go, and he's so strong. I'm so freaked out and the rest of the actors are facing the other way so no one sees that this has happened to me and I'm like, 'Help, help' as quietly and calmly as possible so this thing does not freak out any further."
When Chim Chim initially saw co-star Reese Witherspoon rushing over to join in, he probably couldn’t believe his luck. However it was short lived as Witherspoon, with the help of Richard E Grant and James McAvoy, separated the two bipeds.
"Finally they got him off me but my fear is completely validated and I did not go near him for the rest of the shoot. Monkeys are crazy and you never know what they'll grab onto – I don't like unpredictable animals."
Ricci and her left breast survived the attack unscathed, and Chim Chim was left to while away the remainder of the shoot in disgrace. As to whether he felt it was worth it, we can only guess.
It’s a wonder why Ricci would ever tell the world this story. Oh no, wait – Penelope is due to be released in the UK on February 1.