Chris Tarrant's life is slowly turning into an episode of Tarrant On TV; one minute you're all laughing together at how jolly and offbeat everything is, and then out of nowhere comes a harrowing advert about dead babies that's sort of upsetting.
Not that Chris Tarrant has been making harrowing adverts for dead babies, of course – that really would be weird – but the last few months of his life have seen him dramatically lurch in tone from happy-go-lucky to apparently quite stressed out. After all the unwanted attention after the break-up of his marriage, Chris Tarrant's life has plunged to a tragic new low – Chris Tarrant was arrested for assault on Sunday. Because a man says Tarrant threw some cutlery at him. In Nottingham. Heartbreaking.
Chris Tarrant is the nation's favourite host of quizshows about wanting to be a millionaire that hardly anyone realises are still on TV, but that's not as fun as it sounds. Sure, as the host of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire Chris Tarrant earns a massive annual salary for basically just sitting in a chair reading questions off a screen to an idiot and wheeling out one of three tired catchphrases every ten minutes, but there's also a downside to the job. Sometimes – get this – people say Chris Tarrant's catchphrases to Chris Tarrant in the street. How he hasn't topped himself yet because of this is beyond us.
But be warned – if you do ever find yourself blurting out "fastest fingers first!" like some kind of twatting parrot in front of Chris Tarrant, you have to accept the repercussions. Repercussions like Chris Tarrant possibly assaulting you with some cutlery at an Indian restaurant in Nottingham and then getting arrested for it. That apparently happened on Sunday night when Chris Tarrant – who had been eating at the MemSaab restaurant with colleagues – was arrested by police officers after a diner accused him of hurling pieces of cutlery at him. However, Chris Tarrant claims that it was all just a bit of friendly banter as The Independent reports:
The presenter told Sky News that he did not know if he threw "a spoon, a fork, a napkin – whatever" but that he had chatted amiably with the couple later. "It was just a bit of horseplay. There was no malice involved at all. I've had people come up to me and pour beer over my head but I don't turn around and smack them. It's part of your life and I accept it but this one was kind of weird," he said. He admitted that he did jokingly "lob" some cutlery on to the couple's table after asking them to leave him alone to discuss work with his colleagues.
This cutlery arrest is just another another weird incident that's happened to Chris Tarrant over the course of the last few months. Last year Chris Tarrant and his wife Ingrid separated after claims of infidelity, and Ingrid has seemingly made it her business to go on every two-bit reality TV show going, like The Race and Deadline, and constantly refer to the split like it's the most important thing in the universe until everyone just wants her to shut up. Chris Tarrant, on the other hand, has taken to pimping himself out for charity.
After being arrested, Tarrant was bailed to appear in court in June where – if there is any justice in the world – the judge will determine Chris Tarrant's level of guilt by bombarding him with catchphrases like "How do you plead? Is that your final answer?" "I sentence you to three years in jail… but we don't want to give you that," and "Let's ask the audience… by which I mean the jury. Asking an audience to determine a criminal hearing would be massively illegal" until Chris Tarrant, enraged that more people are saying words he made popular back to him, gives himself away by flinging a teaspoon into the judge's eye. Unless he didn't do it, in which case the judge's eye will obviously remain unspooned.
Read more:
Tarrant Arrested For 'Throwing Cutlery At Diner In Curry House' – Independent
