Hunkface dreamboat and fist flinging R&B simpleton Chris Brown is a proud man this week. Has he gone and got a diamond grill? Has one of his records got a good review in Rolling Stone magazine? Did he save a kitten from a burning house?
No. He has finally discovered that hitting Rihanna in the face isn’t a very nice thing to do. AND HE HAS A CERTIFICATE TO PROVE IT!
That’s right good people of the internet! You can now get a certificate which says in massive letters, probably in Comic Sans, ‘I Learneded Not To Smack A Woman In The Face When She Pisses Me Right Off!’ and Chris Brown has been proudly showing his off to the world like he’s a returning champion.
Brown went on Twitter to tell fan that he has now completed his domestic violence classes that were part of his sentence for assaulting his ex – Rihanna aka The Coolest Woman On Earth – and that he was proud of finishing them.
Brown tweeted:
“I have enough self respect and decency to be proud of accomplishing this DV class.. Boyz run from there mistakes.. Men learn from them!!!thx”
He also has very pointy knuckles as well. Possibly. We made that up.
Brown of course, pleaded guilty last year to attacking Rihanna during an argument on the cusp of the Grammy Awards in 2009. He got slapped with five years of probation, community service and the year-long domestic violence course.
Homework may well have included listening to ‘(He Hit Me) It Felt Like A Kiss’ repeatedly and reading the words ‘You Are A Massive Dick’ over and over.
Last month, the LA judge overseeing Brown’s probation praised the singer on his progress, before adding that they really liked ‘Kiss Kiss’ as it made them tap their fingers and smile while they hummed along on car journeys.
So there you have it. Chris Brown has learned from his mistakes, but sadly for him, will forever be remembered as the bloke who punched Rihanna… who just happens to be much more famous and talented than him. And better looking.
Hurray for that then.
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Christine says
I like both Rihanna and Chris Brown but seriously how can you say that Rihanna is more talented than Chris Brown? Chris Brown can sing, dance, act and rap Rihannna can sing (kinda) and dance a little bit … Chris Brown is wayyyyy more talented. But anyways I’m happy for Chris Brown and I hope he never makes the mistake of putting his hands on a female again!! :D
lee says
what you talking about, rihanna only sings (quite badly) and looks good. chris brown sings, dances, performs, acts and writes music. there really is no competition there?
lu says
Talented than him, LORD! Which part of the planet u from???
Fyi..chris brown write his own songs and rihanna dnt write her own songs.
2.if u list rihanna hits single, there are songs chris brown wrote for her that
was #1 on the charts, rihanna is talented, but not as compare to chris brown,
That why I asked u, where part of the planet u from.
Marisa says
i agree with above, chris brown is a really talented guy, more than i can say for the free mason rihanna, her voice is horrendous, but her body and looks sell… sad that this world has come to that… maybe chris should leak some naked photos, might make him as big as her.
love says
So, apparently you dont have a forgiving heart.
&& what are you smoking?
Rihanna more talented && more famous the Chris brown.>?
have you seen chris brown mj tribute?
who has sold more albums???
lets snap into reality now. he has the right to proud of achievement!
yes, he made a mistake havent you?
joellieeeeeee says
off-topic, lady gaga is the coolest woman on earth.
MyVoyce says
I’m tired of people talking about this story as if the whole story has been revealed.The real truth is “How do you know that Rihanna hasn’t also learned the lesson that hitting Chris Brown wasn’t nice”?It’s been documented that she has hit her own brother in the head with a glass bottle and she laughed about it in a 2007 Complex magazine and just recently she spoke on ” how she liked fighting boys in school”.I think it’s time for the “real journalists” to their job because if I know this,I know the media knows but then again I know their agenda.The first place to began is to expose Chris ‘mugshot’ …..
It ‘s past due that Rihanna needs to be exposed because she is not the innocent victim she pretends to be.Women that go around hitting men need to cease thinking that the man may not hit her back because a man is a person with feelings,not a robot.
Anyway kudos for Chris for owning up to his responsibility in that incident.
LEB says
@lu I agree!
ANONIE CUTIE says
TEAMMMMMMMMMMMM CHRIS BREEZZY WHO IS WAY MORE TALENTED AND HOTTER THAN RIHANNA, WHO TOOK CHRIS’ SPOTLIGHT WITH HER SCANTILY CLAD SELF….SMH
>>>>>>RIHANNAAA SIT DOWN!!!! PLEASE
XXXXX
Truth Teller says
RIHANNA AND CHRIS BROWN I WISH YOU BOTH THE BEST. PLEASE DO NOT ALLOW HATERS TO DETER YOUR PATH. THE ABOVE HATE FROM THE BLOGGERS AND THE COMMENTS ABOVE JUST PROVE THAT SADLY NONE OF US AS A PEOPLE ARE PERFECT, SO Y’ALL KEEP GOD FIRST AND IGNORE THE DEVILS ATTEMPT TO BLOCK YOUR LIGHT. PEACE!
Janis Workman says
[…] more from the original source: Chris Brown Has Officially Learned That Hitting Rihanna Isn’t Very
BajanReporter says
Rihanna is a wild kid who should not have a Cultural Ambassadorship for Barbados and Chris Brown is a wild kid who hit Rihanna and his own Mother – does it really matter who is more talented? P*nis and Cl*toris measuring contests can’t work as wrong tools are compared, SMDH!
your an idiot says
U must b crazy if u seriously think that rihanna is in any shape or form better than chris brown. that is fuckin funny u clearly had 2 b drinking somethin when u wrote that. People can hate on chris brown all they want 2 but every one knows chris brown is wwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy better than rihanna. No one has ever questioned chris’s talent and we all know rihanna’s talented is questionable.
TEAM BREEZZY ALL DAY EVERY DAY!
GET OVER IT YOU PEREZ HITON WANNABE! says
Rihanna is not talented than Chris Brown if you didn’t see Chris Brown at the BET Awards. If something like this happen to you, you probably want people to forgive you and move on as well, too.
@101feven101 says
I disagree that Rihanna is more talented and more “popular” than Chris Brown because, like the other posters have said, Chris Brown is a great performer; one of the best entertainers out there right now.
He is a phenomenal dancer, he sings, he writes his own music and has written for others including Rihanna (Disturbia) and Britney Spears. He also has acted in huge hit movies like “Stomp The Yard,” “This Christmas”, and “Takers”, he also had a role in the popular television show “The OC” for a few episodes.
Rihanna can sing but she doesn’t write her music, she can kind of dance but certainly not even close to the level of Chris Brown at all: he can do acrobatic moves, he is a sick dancer.
I am a fan of both artists and I like both of their music.
I feel that as a journalist you shouldn’t be as biased, although you may dislike an artist in their personal life, you should do more research and look at it from both sides and angles, and you are not doing that.
This may be an editorial and this is your opinion but it doesn’t excuse you throwing out falsehoods like they are facts.
You have to remember that before the incident in February 2009 Chris Brown was just as big as Rihanna if not bigger. This incident has made some people (like angry bloggers) forget about the huge accomplishments that he has made, his impact in music, and most importantly his talent.
There was room for both Chris Brown and Rihanna before the incident; they were both huge on the charts in 2008, and there still is if people like you “Mof Gimmers” get over it like both Rihanna and Chris Brown have. The issue is resolved between them and people like you need to stop dragging it out, it’s been almost 2 years.
I hope you read this and understand.
holdup says
Rihanna is WAY MORE popular than Chris Brown, like it or not, she is an international superstar. Chris is not.
Talent wise they’re both overrated.
2727 says
I think ur lame this website u have is lame and ur article is lame . And how the Fxckk could u say Rihanna is more talented than Chris Brown??! All she does is sinq . Chris SINGS, DANCES, ACTS and is just wonderfull and waaaay much better than her.
Merry Christmas (:
CBSTANDS says
Thanks! I agree