It seems like just yesterday Chris Brown was punching guys in the face for daring to jump into a picture with him when he’s trying to mack it to some groupies. But it was actually months ago, and that incident was the catalyst behind Brown going on lockdown in rehab to avoid getting thrown in the clinker. Hasn’t it been a much less jerk-y world lately? Well, except for Justin Dickbag and Shia LaDouche. Their time is coming.
Brown not only made it through his 90 day rehab for anger management, but he even stayed an extra 5 days. And it seems he completed it with flying colors, plus walks away with a long list of doctor approved issues that Brown can use as excuses for his shitty behavior now.
So Chris Brown has been on probation for like, ever, and has managed to do tons of shit to put his ass into jeopardy multiple times. In his last incident, he cold clocked a guy in Washington D.C. for invading Brown’s bubble. Only strippers, ex girlfriends he legally can’t be around, and Mary Jane are allowed inside Chris’ bubble. After the prosecutors from his Rihanna beat down trial starting screaming “JAIL TIME BITCH!” Brown ran off to some rehab so he could pretend he actually cared that he was a total fuckup.
Surprising basically everyone, Brown actually completed the whole required 3 months without burning the place down or getting caught making vodka out of rotten apples. While there, doctors discovered that maybe there was more to Brown’s shitty personality than just a high sense of self-importance.
“Mr. Brown became aggressive and acted out physically due to his untreated mental health disorder, severe sleep deprivation, inappropriate self-medicating and untreated PTSD.”
Apparently by “mental health disorder” they mean Bipolar disorder. And we all know what he was using to self medicate. Now I do wonder what caused the PTSD. I can only imagine Brown going on another angry Twitter rant and blaming it all on the Rihanna incident. “If dat bitch had not made her face to punch worthy, my life would have been perfect. I still get nightmares ’bout that ho.”
Sadly for Brown, but luckily for the rest of us, he was not allowed to freely roam the streets again, and instead was sent BACK to rehab by the judge. While the judge was super thrilled Brown hadn’t rearranged anyone else’s face, he still felt that Brown had a lot more work to do that couldn’t be done in the regular world.
The prosecutors still want to put Chris’ ass in some serious danger, but Brown’s lawyers have begged for the judge to wait until the outcome for the DC incident is decided in April. So, the judge met everyone in the middle and sent Brown back to rehab until the April 23rd court date.
I feel like a part of me actually pities Brown a little bit with this new information. A very, very small part of me, but a part none the less. Today, when “Forever” came on my Pandora, I actually let it play the entire way through and didn’t skip it. It’s a new year for both of us, Christopher.