Chris Brown’s Naked Penis Pictures Appear Online

As humans evolve through the ages, it doesn’t seem that we’ve grown in intelligence. Instead, the overwhelming growth in technology had meant that IQ points can be taken away.

These days, you can control your entire life by downloading a couple of apps and do activities such as video editing, flying a toy helicopter and instructing robots to destroy entire cities.

One basic function of the modern mobile phone is the camera which allows anyone the chance to show off images that they’ve seen. Whether it’s a sun kissed skyline or an effigy of Jesus appearing on a kebab: anyone around the world can share in what you’ve seen. In the case of Chris Brown, he decided that taking a photo of his shrivelled penis via his iPhone and sending it to someone would be okay. Surely nobody would leak the image on the internet? Oh wait…

It’s strange that Chris Brown is still around for us to report on his stupid activities. You’d have thought that after his high profiled domestic abuse incident against Rihanna, fans of the R&B twerp would have deserted him.

But oh no, beating up a lady seems perfectly acceptable to his adoring and dwindling public and Brown has continued to make terrible bottom burping records. We should have expected this really seeing Charlie Sheen entertains millions on Twitter with his self imploding rants, even though he has a history of violence against women. People just seem to love gits who assault others.

Unless you’re a nun, most of you have seen a penis, or a hilarious copy of one that’s been cast in rubber and manufactured to comedy lengths. Therefore you’ll probably have no difficulty in picturing some dangly ballbags and managed pubic hair.

However with Chris Brown, we assume that compared to a cocktail sausage, he doesn’t come close in length, even when erect. No doubt we’ll be informed by his dippy fans that his penis is so big that it could run down his trousers, all the way to our bedsit and slap “ha8erz” like us in the face.

We haven’t seen Chris Brown’s member, so, we’ll let MTV do all the investigative stuff for us, they report:

“A nude photo reportedly of Chris Brown has leaked online late Friday (March 4), which shows the 21-year-old “Run It” singer standing full-frontal in bathroom mirror. Taking the pic with his iPhone and adorned in nothing more than his tattoos and newly dyed blond hair, Brown appears with a look of concentration in the photo, which first appeared on WorldStarHipHop.com.”

And just how did the picture appear for the world to vomit over? MTV help us out again by reporting:

“It was leaked by an ex-girlfriend.”

And the lesson learnt here? Don’t take pictures of your genitals and send them to people. They’ll probably be shown to other people and spitefully used against you if something happens when you’re loving relationship of eight days breaks down. Whilst others might get a laugh and a kick out of your boobs/penis/weird third nipple, you’ll probably want to be swallowed up by the earth.

Oh well, shit happens.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Because Laidlow was too chicken to check out Brown’s flaccid chap, we checked it out and can report that it is long and thin like a 2D blimp.

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Comments

  1. jayjay says

    your right. he is a mother bleepin monster limp i might add. might make your day and loosen up that tight walk of yours. #winning!!!! i wouldn’t call you a hater though he was wrong for what he did but i am a sucker for forgiveness other wise there would be a few people i would probably be locked up or in trouble for also. i would rather not be bitter you know? it’s just not apart of my grown womans swag.

  2. CatWhisperer says

    This little git (practicing my British) makes me want to punch him. No talent little bugger ass. But that picture is frickin hysterical!!