When we were fresh-faced schoolkids who hadn?t accidentally seen the darker side of the internet or found the pub, things were a lot different.
Our homework was always done and we did what was asked of us. Modern day children are never going to get the same experience. All you have to do is look at the curriculum that will be taught to future generations to see how society is epically decaying.
History lessons saw harrowing accounts of brave soldiers fighting the Nazi elite. Fast forward 70 years and something far greater has taken over from World War II. Is it a modern conflict like Iraq or Palestine? Nope – the ongoing feud between Cheryl Cole and Lily Allen is like totally more interesting. OMG!
As far as whose side to pick in this continuing Allen/ Cole scuffle, it’s Cheryl Cole who’ll probably have everyone in her corner. After all, she is a major television star alongside the work she does with Girls Aloud. Who couldn't love a girl that came up through the ghetto estates of Newcastle? No-one, that's for sure. Just don't bring up the toilet attendant incident. That never happened, on account of her being famous and all that.
So how long have the two been having their comedy argument? Because we're feeling generous, we're going to cut out the work for historians and try to sum up this avalanche of a battle that Cheryl and Lily are having. All the way back in 2007, Lilly Allen wasn?t a happy camper and made lots of rude comments about people. Cheryl Cole was one such victim and she was forced by sweart chef Gordan Ramsay to say what she thought of Lily. Cheryl said:
?A chick with a dick.?
We chuckled at the time, but seeing how Lily is a proper London cockney and not someone from Thailand, we think that calling someone a ladyboy is a bit uncalled for. That's unless the pair once went to the toilet and Lily got concerned at the lack of urinals to point her dong at. But because girls like to retaliate with insults, Lily threw some more hurtful words in Cheryl?s face by writing in her blog:
?Cheryl, if you’re reading this, I may not be as pretty as you but at least I write and SING my own songs without the aid of autotune. I must say taking your clothes off, doing sexy dancing and marrying a rich footballer must be very gratifying, your mother must be so proud, stupid bitch.”
At times like this, we wish that the pair would sort out their ways via the traditional method used by gentlemen up and down the country – a scuffle in a pub car park. But girls don't do that sort of thing – they just scream at each other or graffiti the loos in swanky nightclubs. Recently, the two have simmered down and seemingly solved their differences. Well that was until the other day when they actually met. Digital Spy reports:
Cole said: “I met Lily for the first time last week. I gave her a hug and said, ‘Nice to meet you’. To which she said, ‘There is no beef’.
OK, there's nothing offensive there. Lily could have been giving Cheryl tips about the buffet. After all, who?d want to look a tit when asking for beef and finding out there's only chicken? Not us, that's for sure. But things took a turn for the worse, with Cheryl adding:
?Then I hear she was in the press room taking the piss and I thought, ‘She’s a little girl but I’m a 26-year-old woman and I’m not at school anymore.?
What? Cheryl called Lily a ‘little girl’? This is only going to explode into a nuclear bitchfest of comments that will no doubt consume us all by the end of 2010. Seeing as both have crap albums out at the moment, we guess they need to do something to keep us entertained.
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Shooty* says
“There is no beef” has now replaced “hello” in my vocabulary. What an awesome greeting.
Jacqui says
Ug, they should buth just shut up.
This sparked from basically nothing.
But I’m on Cheryl’s side, becuase she’s pretty.
And Lily Allen just annoys me to high heavens.
But, seriously, they should give it a damn rest. No one really cares.
Mia says
Cheryl started the game, and i think LILY SHOULD END THE GAME !!!!
GO>>>>LILY>>>GO !!
*HUGS AND KISSES* lol
Maddy says
Ugh Lily Allen? She’s so far up her own arse.
And Cheryl Cole isn’t much better. But I like her better because she’s not as painful to look at.
Rach says
I dont hate Cheryl Cole but im totally on Lily’s side, there was no need for Cheryl to start the whole thing in the first place. Cheryl Cole is slowly begining to get on my nerves, Lily is so much better, she i salso right, Lily can sinf, Cheryl cant, enought said!
Becky (Transgendered) says
There’s nothing wrong with being a ‘chick with a dick’ or a ‘ladyboy’ but there’s everything wrong with being a stupid transphobic bigot.
CannedSausages says
If “no one really cares” then why are you here reading about it? To inform people that nothing is going on and nobody should care about it? Plus, you’re on Cheryl’s side “because she’s pretty”?! So, if someone like, I don’t know, Nicole Kidman ran for President, you’d vote for her “because she’s pretty”? Actually, I doubt people like you even bother to vote. It
CannedSausages says
LOL so true : )
lily forever says
if cheryl is that bitchy i think she should just fight for her love who’d have known after maybe Lily would be crown the queen of pop.
lacey says
uh if you weren’t so thick you would know that it was not started by cheryl at all, lily started it all by slating nicola roberts about her being ginger, when cheryl called her “a chick with a dick” this was a retaliation to that i.e cheryl sticking up for her friend. End of. And do you serious consider lily allens drone as singing
Ross says
lily started it by writing a sarcastic song about her and then saying ‘no one really wants to look like cheryl they just think they do!’ so stop blaming her!
ciao says
Molto bella Cheryl e Pi
Elle says
That slut (cheryl) should just stay silent.