Cheryl Cole – Girls Aloud's most ferociously forthright member – has apparently cracked and got back together with her cheating husband Ashley Cole.
According to reports, Cheryl Cole took Ashley Cole back during their make or break crisis summit earlier in the week, and now they'll live happily ever after. Apart from her, because she'll have probably turned into a full-blown quivering paranoid wreck before the month is out.
But, hey, there's a moral to this – it's OK to nationally humiliate your wife by throwing up on a variety of other women during sex, because she'll inevitably take you back afterwards. But only so long as you're quite rich.
To look at Cheryl Cole you'd think she was actually quite a tough cookie. You can see it in her flinty, uptight face, in the way that she had a public spat with Lily Allen, in the way that she allegedly racially attacked a nightclub worker a few years ago, and in the way that she made the line "Something kinda oooh jumping on my toot-toot," sound like the world's most frighteningly violent threat.
It's why once, when Cheryl Cole told Top Of The Pops magazine that "If anyone ever cheated on me they'd be dead!" we all believed her. However, perhaps that was a misquote. Perhaps the full version of what Cheryl Cole said was "If anyone ever cheated on me they'd be dead, unless they're a footballer who earns quite a lot more than me, because in that case I'd probably just ignore it."
Because that's what Cheryl Cole has apparently done. After a flurry of tabloid headlines from girls claiming that – we think – Ashley Cole got a load of girls pregnant with his vomit, Cheryl Cole decided to take her cheating husband back at this week's make or break but probably make meeting. The Mirror reports:
Cheryl Cole yesterday took husband Ashley back after they met for the first time since his cheating was exposed three weeks ago. She told her Girls Aloud bandmates at the Brits: "I want to make my marriage work." And we can reveal Cheryl has met with England and Chelsea defender Ashley, 27, to talk things through. It was believed to have taken place at their country pile in Oxshott, Surrey, yesterday. A source told us: "Chezza's been up and down but she's finally made her mind up. After meeting with Ashley, she laid down the law and told him in no uncertain terms that if he strays again, there will be no second chance."
Unless he does, because there probably will be.
So all of that fuss about Cheryl initially sticking by Ashley and then sort of leaving him a bit, all the headlines and magazine covers and everything, it was all for nothing. In a nutshell, Ashley Cole did it with a load of women who aren't Cheryl Cole, and Cheryl Cole ultimately doesn't mind. We're not sure how Cheryl will manage to cope with taking her husband back – the constant worry, stress and overwhelming paranoia that she's bound to go through every hour of every day from now on stands a pretty good chance of derailing her for good.
But, still, at least there's a decent ghostwritten autobiography in this for her now. So it probably all sort of balances out.
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kirsty says
once a cheat always a cheat. cheryl your stupid he knows he won so he will do it again