Charlize Theron Has Lost Her Damn Mind

Charlize TheronUgh, I know it’s irrational but I get a bad case of the sads when a celebrity I really like does stupid shit.  I have a major girl crush on Charlize Theron for being both beautiful and bad ass, but now I feel like I will never look at her the same way again.  Her crime?  Rumor has it she has started banging Sean Penn.  Yes, total douchebag, cheater, arrogant jerk Sean Penn.

You can still like someone even if you lose respect for them, right?  It’s not she’s hooking up with Shia LaBeouf or Mickey Rourke, I guess.  Ugh, Charlize, what is going on with you girl?

Charlize Theron is not only ridiculously smoking hot, but she also is ridiculously talented.  Add that to the fact that she does a ton of goodwill type deeds, has adopted a baby from her home country of South Africa, she has an adorable accent, and the fact that she managed to make the GI Jane haircut look sexy as hell, and she is all around pretty awesome.

Which is why it is so heartbreaking to learn that she most likely is doing the no pants dance with Supreme Douche Overlord, Sean Penn.  They spent the New Year together in Hawaii, doing couple-y shit like watching the sunset together on the beach.  Then they flew home together, both went back to her place, and Penn was seen wearing the same nasty clothes days later when he finally left.  But the nail on the fucking coffin?  They got early morning Starbucks together!  No “Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am?”  Actual time spent together after seeing each other’s morning after face and hangover breath?  That is not just a hook up or a FWB situation.  That is some relationship shit.

Sean Penn Charlize Theron Hawaii

So couple-y.

Ugh.  The guy is such a massive tool.  Why Charlize would want to bump uglies with a guy who is known more for his outrageous outbursts than his successful films (Milk and I Am Sam being the obvious 2 exceptions in a 30 year career) is beyond me.  Does Theron suddenly think it’s hot to be with a dude who would punch a puppy wearing glasses in a wheelchair, simply because it dared to look him in the eye?  News flash Charlize- it’s not.

Then again, Theron’s last boyfriend was Seth MacFarlane, so her taste has been questionable lately.  Did Charlize get hit on the head that we don’t know about?  Is she going through some one-third life crisis?  Is that even a thing?  Can it be, if it gives Theron an out?

You want to know how I know Penn is still a dick, and being with someone as awesome as Theron hasn’t helped a smidge?  When the two went for their morning after caffeine fix, he not only drove Theron’s car (Penn wouldn’t waste his own gas), but he made Charlize get out and get the coffees while he sat nice and useless in the driver’s seat.

Charlize Theron Sean Penn Starbucks

“My coffee better be perfect or you’re walking home.”

Very gentlemanly, Penn.

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Comments

  1. NO-Loot says

    ‘Does Theron suddenly think it’s hot to be with a dude who would punch a puppy wearing glasses in a wheelchair, simply because it dared to look him in the eye?’ LMAO! That’s hysterical.