We’ve long been believers of the old saying “nothing says ‘I love you’ like pulling a knife on your wife on Christmas day”.

And we’re not alone. It would appear that Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller also live this lesson to the fullest. In fact, we’d even go as far as to say that allegedly pulling a knife on Brooke Mueller and then threatening to have her killed on Christmas day was probably the best thing that Charlie Sheen has ever done. But remember that some of the other things that Charlie Sheen has ever done are Two And A Half Men and getting married to Denise Richards, so that’s not really saying a lot.

But we digress. Charlie Sheen was formally charged with his alleged attack on Brooke Mueller yesterday, and it’s reported that Charlie and Brooke couldn’t stop hugging afterwards. Weirdos.

It takes a certain type of person to want to hug Charlie Sheen. Entering the hug, you’d know that you were about to embrace the man who once taunted his ex-wife about her mother’s cancer, the man whose history includes both drugs and prostitutes, the man who somehow manages to be the worst thing about Two And A Half Men.

You’d only want to hug Charlie Sheen if you were at absolute rock bottom. You’d need to be in a particularly bad place if you weighed up the pros and cons of hugging Charlie Sheen compared to the pros and cons of not hugging Charlie Sheen, and ended up realising that you’d be better off hugging him. To hug Charlie Sheen is to have seen too much. With that in mind, it’s probably fair to say that Brooke Mueller has seen too much.

Of all the things that have happened to Brooke Mueller since Christmas, allegedly being assaulted by Charlie Sheen is probably the least upsetting. Since then, she’s also been admitted to intensive care with pneumonia and checked herself into rehab. Compared to these twin nightmares, having the bloke from Terminal Velocity scream death threats in your face as a Christmas present sounds like a cakewalk.

And that’s why, after Charlie Sheen was formally charged with felony menacing, misdemeanour assault and criminal mischief yesterday following the Christmas day incident, Brooke Mueller couldn’t keep her hands off him. ABC News reports:

Mueller embraced Sheen at the end of Monday’s brief hearing and the pair left together. “They hugged in the courtroom, they hugged downstairs and they are hugging in the car,” Mueller’s lawyer, Yale Galanter, told reporters after the hearing. “It is Brooke’s position that she would like the charges dismissed and this case to be over,” he added.

Oh you two! Get a room, would you? But, you know, make sure it’s a room with plenty of windows, an unobstructed route to the exit and a working telephone line with 911 on speed-dial. And no knives. It doesn’t hurt to be careful, doesn’t it?

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