Chantelle Houghton is 22 years young. The Essex girl will freely admit that she is of little noticeable talent, other than being quite nice to people other than George Galloway.
Well, Chantelle is obviously not some random name plucked from a tatty hat. She is – of course – the winner of the recent series of Celebrity Big Brother. Not content with being the first non-celebrity to win a competition solely designed for celebrities, she will now be having a stab at the popular music hit parade charts. Oh joy.
Chantelle Houghton, quite the idiot, said "I am living the dream. I want it all,
I want it right now," quoting the lyrics from her fabrication of a
ruse-hit from dreamt up girl pods Kandyfloss (“wiv a Kaiee”).
Naturally, we all knew that this was inevitable. Just because it was
obvious doesn’t mean it won’t curl your toes. Cast your mind back to
Houghton’s time in the house. Stealing glances with a fool from a
seldom heard-of band and referring to Barrymore as "Michael Barrymore
of the tellay." This girl is grade A beef.
We ‘sprayers are frothing at the arse in anticipation of the pending
videogramme. Surely, our Chantelle will dance with all the grace of a
horse stood in the middle of a see-saw. Surely she will possess a voice
so unrefined that you’ll recall the sound of someone slowly skinning a
piglet and gently sobbing afterwards. This obviously won’t be the first
time a Big Brother contestant has had a pop single out. Who could forget the
painful lilt of Craig‘s At This Time Of Year and the ear pulverising The Game from the dreadful, dismal Nichola?
Still, we can only sit and wait for Chantelle to fulfil her destiny, whatever
that may be. She has already promised to spend her £25,000 prize money
on “Make-up, clothes and orange lipstick”. Tasty!
Given time, poor Chantelle will be put in the Where Are They Now? file
with the long Who? queue. Fear not, hecklerspray is coming up with a
plan to save these poor unfortunates. We are in talks with some
important TV and Music people to stage a benefit concert with all
singing and dancing Big Brother contestants. Nasty Nick, Bubble, Nadia…
this is your moment. Step up into the light and show the world what you
are made of.
You, dear reader, are probably thinking that you’d like your chance.
Your shot at the stars. Well, Channel 4 is recruiting for the next Big Brother,
and if you are insane enough, you could be in. Rumour has it that the channel is on the prowl for pervert head teachers to ‘shake things up’ and for
any terrorists currently residing in Britain to ‘step forward’. So get
calling and we’ll see you on stage at the hecklerspray Benefit concert
for Morons.
Read more:
Chantelle set to make a million – Manchester Online
[story by Mof Gimmers]
Brad Mullet says
Oh, I dunno Mof, at least she’s not as evil as Galloway or as desperate as Barrymore.
And I won’t forget her that quickly…still remember Melanie Hill off BB1 fondly….!
Alison says
Am so happy that chantelle won.Follow your dream girl and get with PRESTON
donna gilbertson says
good god what is your problem? She is just a young girl trying to make a go of things and get a bit money behind her, basically the same as everyone wants to do! You really are the sad one I believe!
Hazz !! says
Omgg where to start…well i love chantelle for the real her…and i have to tell you about this dream i had of her and preston…well what happened was…me and Chantelle went to the trafford centre and stocked up on orange lippy ;P If i remember correctly Preston was with us and he kept changing into a dog !! Anyway, i thouhgt i should share that with you all !! Basically i just think Chantelle is THE BEST !! And she is very genuine !! LIVE YOUR DREAM CHANTELLE… Love Hazz xxx
sarah says
i am so jelous i think preston is so fit and f**king georgous xxx
Zoe says
LIVE THE DREAM Chantelle you deserved to win darlin. Whats all that bout Chantelle and Preston avin secret phone calls they would be so good together wouldnt they.
nikki says
can u say paris hilton wananbe?
aaron says
fuck preston come over my house and i will show u celeb u sexy bitch
evie says
hi chantelle ur the best ever i think ur really pretty i love ur long blond hair im onley young i love preton as much as u love him well done for winning mwah !!!!!
Billy Joe says
hahahahahahahahahha
mick. says
Dear God…… how are people becoming famous on absolutely no merit whatsoever? the mind boggles, but clearly not as much as low rent parishiltonalike.
Invariably will sell her ‘exclusive’ story to a multitude of shitty gossip magazines, adorn the cover of zoo or nuts for a year, and possibly be a contestant on celebrity big brother 17 in an ironic twist of fate.
Abi titmuss anyone?….. Did’nt think so.
Gillian Boland says
well done Chantelle for winning
big brother ure and deserve it
i was so glad when u won it
peni says
chantelles wkd! and preston is lovely i think they both made the show intresting dont agree with the gossip about them just leave em alone there happy and thats it even if they are just mates well done both xxx
jimmi says
Little jealous are we Mof.
Sounds like it to me. Lets face it, this girl won on the basic premise that she was more popular than the so-called celebrities. The UK population love her, she has made Jodie Marsh completely unpopular in comparison and has rid this nation of at least this parasite.
I like the girl: she was honest and not at all pretendious. Even if the fame is only fleeting, I wish her all the best.
jd fuller says
hi ya!!!
my name is jd an omg it sooo funni !
it lyk mi birthday in 6 days an omg im soooo livin da dream cuz i can’t believe it !!!!!!
anyways i want it rite now !!!!
sooo much !
Shout out to mi girlies!
tasha , caz an amy ! luv yas an jon sucks lil willys! ennit ! lv yas XxXx
alisha says
i hate chantelle i think shes mean i think she is a man eater she is stealing prestons girlfriend selfish jelous BITCH!!!
soraya says
hi chantelle u deserve this darling go 4 ur dreams dnt give up luv ya
Caoimhe says
Chantelle ur awsome with an A honestly people are underestimating u but why u so so so so so so so Brrrrilliant!
DeusXM says
What the hell is wrong with the people who post comments on ‘spray?
Why does everyone seem to think that whoever’s just had the piss ripped out of them in the article is actually RIGHT THERE IN THE ROOM WITH THEM and reading it?
Matt says
Hi guys, there is brand new website about Chantelle, Preston and Kandy Floss on
http://www.chantelle.tv
Are you a real Chantelle’s fan ? Are you ?
So wear it, spread the word.
Get your own email:
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
It is FREE, Yes FREE.
Only to the first 50 registering to Chantelle.TV’s newletter and leaving a message on Chantelle.TV’s forum
jenn says
hiyah i hink u r pure wiked man yer soo pretty tae
Emma says
hya a lv ya chantelle ya so kwl ya rock! ya ded pritty an all. anyways cant wait 2 find oot more about u nd preston u soooooooo suit eachova. well a g2g bibi xx
Chloe says
I cant BELIEVE people who are actually FANS of that man stealing ugly COW Chantelle. Everyone looks at Chantelle and Preston and says “Aww how sweet!”. But people look at poor Camille and they just say get over it.
All my friends love Chantelle and Preston together but just think of it this way. You are the girlfriend of a boy in a semi famous band and he goes on reality TV. He and this girl start kissing/groping/chatting each other up. Then the nation starts to start a fan base and they get everything. And you have nothing left.
Think of it like that!
Brett says
Are all of you people absolutely stupid? Writing messages as if she runs this website or something, congratulating her? Honestly speaking she is not pretty at all and has absolutley no personality. The quicker she is forgotten the better and as for
Preston, all I can say is he’s a dog for treating his ex like that; at least have the decency to break up properly first before persuing a new relationship. Heckler called it right on the money.
Matt says
Congratulations to the new soon wedded couple. Chantelle Houghton and Samuel Preston getting married. This is great news. But is she pregnant ? why are they rushing like this ?Her little romance on video and exposed through photos in the magazines….mmm…god bless chantelle preston
knowledgeable one says
I agree with non Chantelle lovers. How is she pretty? In my opinion she is a slapped up, man eating tart. Whoever said she is tryin 2 make sum money like everyone else, she’s doin it this way coz she can’t be assed to get a job. Also, I hope ppl realise that when writing to Chantelle personally, its unlikely she’ll ever read all your lovely little comments. Chantelle doesn’t have a dream, a dream is where u hav a plan, Chantelle is just a money grabber tryin 2 get sum money any way she can, so anybody who doesn’t agree can kiss my ass
hating all... says
oh my, after reading all the above posts I can only come to the conclusion that you are all mad. Seriously. I mean Chantelle is a no body who happened (through freakish, but admittedly inventive television producing, won a TV SHOW. A TV GAME SHOW). You go girl is right, but don’t expect people to buy into anything after the BB cameras turn off. Really what are you people? BB is a game show. why waste your time after the cameras stop rolling. Oh and I shall do if for you. I never saw celebrity BB as I never spend winter in the UK (poor me huh), but I religiously watch BB in the summer and love it. 15 minutes of fame here I come. does a post count? I hope so because here it is…..
Jessica says
I dont know how anyone can like chantelle, shes a homewrecking cow, Poor Camile had to suffer at home watching the slapper trying seduce her man. And if it was anyone else everybody would have hated her for trying it on with someone elses boyfreind on national television, but because she a thick bimbo everyones feeling soory for her. Put yourself in Camiles position.
Lena says
What suprises me the most is how we are a nation of strange & freaky people. Jades career has rocketed yet she is as thick as (enter your word here) ! Michael Barrymore was a complete moron yet came SECOND! Chantelle seems pitted to become the next “big thing” yet i doubt she’d be able to string a sentence together that doesn’t include orange lippy or livin’ the dream! How did she manage to win celeb big brother? Either it was rigged OR the ever somewhat “respectable” public voted for the airhead. I realise it was slim pickings but come on. Also have we forgotten why celebs get the chance to enter the house. #1 Revive a flagging career #2 THE WINNER GETS TO DONATE ALL THEIR WINNINGS TO A CHARITY…So well done to the public for letting an airhead win & making sure that those charitys miss out on some well deserved cash! PS yes i give what i can to various charitys.
Zoe says
Lena Has said it all.
Kelly says
No need to be jelous now girls, i wish her luck shes done really well. She deserves it.
Lena says
What exactly have we got to be jealous about? I can managed to string along a perfectly good sentence…hey i can even write this! What strikes me as odd though is as soon as we make a damn good point or have an opinion of our own, people automatically suggest that we are “jealous”
So i may not have the money that she [Chantelle] has but my next door neighbour proberly has more than me so am i jealous of them…NO! Ive been with my man for 3yrs and i certainly wouldn’t swap him for that gimp [Preston]
At least my man has never openly flirted or humiliated me in front of an audience![Camille] Im not a jealous person as you would presume to judge i am however envious, not of Chantelle but envious of Mariah Carey’s SINGING VOICE, Keira Knightly’s ACTING…envious of people who have raw TALENT because i have none! What does Chantelle deserve? Has she got ANY talent?
PINK-STUPID GIRLS………………..Listen to the lyrics boys & girls xxx
Carmen says
she is BUTT ugly. fair doos av u seen the skanky teeth on her. the orange lippy jus draws attention to them!!! and as for the strangley pluked eyebrows……dnt get me started on them.
Kelly says
Lena, you sound like a very hatefull person. What does it matter to you how she speaks or how she got famous, the fact is the PUBLIC voted her to win in the BB house. And yes you are entitled to your opinion, but that doesnt make what you are stating right. You obviously have your reasons for disliking her, but i think you should lighten up, and leave the poor girl alone. And as for that statement you made ´At least my man has never openly flirted or humiliated me in front of an audience´. That is the most stuck up thing ive heard, I actually really feel sorry for her.Your not portraying yourself as avery nice person.
Terri says
You go girl, put her in her place. I totally agree with you Terri, That Lena needs to get over herself. Does she think shes Perfect.