Channing Tatum Replaces Awful Bradley Cooper as People’s Sexiest Man Alive

Channing Tatum's People Magazine coverIt’s difficult to disagree with People Magazine’s choice of Channing Tatum as this year’s Sexiest Man Alive. Despite his prententious-sounding name and his gay pose on the magazine’s cover, Channing Tatum is a ridiculously good-looking and likable guy who doesn’t seem to take himself too seriously. (Also, I really dig those pointy little side-teeth that you can see when he smiles.)

Channing was a stand-out host on Saturday Night Live and, while he doesn’t necessarily seem to be the brightest bulb, he does seem to be good-natured and even humble, having not yet succumbed to the apparently inescapable cockiness and/or douchiness that plagues most celebrities. When told of his selection as People’s Sexiest Man Alive, Channing’s reaction was eloquent, yet self-effacing.

“My first thought was, ‘Y’all are messing with me.’”

Having also recently been named one of GQ’s Men of the Year, apparently Channing is growing accustomed to being singled out. So casual was he about being named People’s Sexist that he waited to tell his wife, Jenna Dewan-Tatum, until they were bathing their dogs. Her response was similarly eloquent to his.

“I told Jenna after we’d been in the bathtub washing our dogs because they’d gotten skunked. … She was like, ‘What?’”

Channing was in three big movies this year, which has kept him on everyone’s minds. I only saw one of the three, 21 Jump Street, and it was surprisingly funny. I love Jonah Hill, and Channing was unexpectedly charming. I didn’t see The Vow because it looks horrible, and I’m also one of the four or five women on earth who hasn’t seen Magic Mike, but I’m told by many of my sexually frustrated friends that Channing was not too shabby in it.

Magic Mike

Every year, People Magazine is criticized for choosing a white man as their Sexiest. That seems to be a reasonable complaint, since Denzel Washington is the only non-white man chosen in all the years that People has been making the list. To my mind, however, a bigger problem is that at least half of the list is complete bullshit.

To win the coveted Sexiest Man Alive designation, Channing beat out legitimate contenders such as Chris Hemsworth and Bradley Cooper, but there are other dudes on the list make no sense at all. Sexy is a subjective term I suppose, but give me a fucking break. Blake Shelton? Paul Rudd? Come on! Max Greenfield … no one even knows who the fuck that is. Richard Gere who’s about a hundred years old? Again, Denzel Washington as the token black guy. They even included a guy with amputated legs.

At any rate, Channing is clearly an appropriate choice. According to his wife, he’s more than just a sex god.

“People know him to be fun and sexy, but they don’t know how emotionally deep and spiritually open he is.”

That statement, from the woman who knows him best, may seal Channing’s position as the ideal man: emotionally deep, spiritually open, with an ass of steel.

Channing Tatum and wife Jenna Dewan-Tatum

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Comments

  1. Sue says

    Magic Mike was an excellent movie. If wanting to see Channing Tatum shake his cute little booty means that I have to be labelled sexually frustrated, so be it, bitches.

  2. who cares says

    Bradley Cooper is one hawt sexy hunk o man…chris chambers, you’re a hater…and you obviously don’t know sexy!!! Give me the Coop any day over any of these other pretty boys…!!!