10 Celebrities You Might Not Know Are Gay

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In the world of celebrities, if you’re famous and you also happen to be gay, then you had damn well better do a cover of People magazine or Out or something so all of us straight folk can know that you’re gay. I have no idea why this is a thing, because you never see straight celebs on the cover of People being like “It’s true! I’m straight!”, but such is the world of Hollywood.

However, not all gay, lesbian, and bisexual celebrities feel a need to constantly remind us of their sexual orientation (crazy idea: maybe they think it’s none of our fucking business and isn’t relevant to their careers. But that doesn’t mean Hollywood doesn’t have an amazing LGBTQ community! You might not have known that the following 9 celebs were gay, lesbian, or bisexual, but they are! And they’re awesome! And they prove that your sexuality doesn’t always dictate your roles and the career you have.

Tyga Thinks the Kardashians are on Beyonce’s Level

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The AMAs were Sunday night and, for the most part, they were a bit of a snooze. However, it was still a low-grade awards show (I mean, Pitbull hosted) so OF COURSE at least 3 Kardashian girls had to show up. In this case it was Kendall (the classiest sister, since she got that Estee Lauder contract and all), Khloe (the most ghetto fab), and Kylie (legendary lip liner artist and teenage lot lizard icon).

The three of them looked pretty good, I mean, they’re good looking girls, but according to Kylie’s rumored beau, Tyga (just an awful rap name), the Kardashian/Jenner ladies took it to a Beyoncé level of hotness. Of course, he’s probably just saying this shit to fuck with his ex, Blac Chyna, because everything about the Kardashians and their crew just scream STUNT.

Bette Midler Says What We Are All Thinking About Ariana Grande

Bette MidlerBette Midler can do basically no wrong in my eyes, ever.  Not only does she have the pipes of an angel, she also starred in what is hands down the best Halloween movie ever. So even if I disagreed with the shade Ms. Midler threw in a recent interview, I would keep that tidbit of information tucked down deep down below.

But lucky for me, I not only concur with Bette on her assessment of current divas in training, I actually give her a standing ovation for her comments on Ariana Grande.   Really, she is only saying what we all have been thinking forever now.  Though I may be saying that simply because Grande annoys the crap out of me. WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO BE A SEXY TODDLER?!

When Rich White Ladies Attack- Gwyneth vs Martha

Gwyneth Paltrow Martha StewartThe ongoing battle between Gwyneth Paltrow and Martha Stewart is both hilarious and so white it’s blinding.  While rappers shoot each other, and rock stars use their fists and sleep with the wives of their enemies, apparently rich privileged ladies make passive aggressive desserts and put them to print.

Damn, I guess when your livelihood is making someone feel like a less than adequate woman if they don’t have proper napkin rings, none of us should be surprised at how gangsta these two could get.

People Magazine Got Shit Right This Year

Chris Hemsworth Sexiest Man aliveIt’s been rough for People’s “Sexiest Man Alive” to be taken seriously ever since their epic mistake in 2011 (Fuck you, Cooper).  But last year they started to get their street cred back by giving it to Adam Levine, and this year it’s been awarded to Thor himself, Chris Hemsworth.

Though there are many still ticked off that Ryan Gosling still hasn’t won,  I cannot be mad at People. Have you seen Chris shirtless?  I will gladly take that hammer for $2000, Alex.

No More Special Brownies For The Smith Kids

Jaden Willow SmithIf the world needed any more proof that Scientology breeds bat shit crazy, they need look no further than Jaden and Willow Smith.   As if being a teenager doesn’t automatically make you enough of a ridiculous ignorant ass, these two show us just how far down the rabbit hole one can go with enough money and lack of real parenting.

The siblings have given an interview that kind of sounds like it was written by the love child of Gary Busey and Amanda Bynes.  To sound like a super stereotypical white girl in my 20s, I legit cannot deal with these two assholes.

Bill Cosby is a Rapist: Deal With It

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Yes, I know the above picture is in poor taste, but basically everything Bill Cosby does is in poor taste, so I thought it would be fitting. So, as you may have heard, society once again cares about the fact that Bill Cosby allegedly raped more than a dozen women over the years, primarily by drugging them. I mean, we’ve known this shit for years, but the media only pretends to care like every 10 years or so, and I guess that time is now.

Let’s be real here: women have been giving the exact same story about Bill Cosby for years: I was young, he gave me booze and a pills, last thing I remembered he was fondling me, I woke up naked. Bill Cosby is a rich and powerful pudding lover who was also Dr. Huxtable, TV’s most famous dad (what is it with tv dads?!), and no one is going to believe you if you say he raped you so you’re basically fucked. Tale as old as time or some shit, I guess. However, that hasn’t made the allegations go away after all these years.

7 Biggest Lies Pregnant Celebrities Are Telling Us

bitchplease So, it has come to my attention that I am three months pregnant and will be spawning a child come May 2015. I know, I know, God help the poor child. But before you congratulate me or anything like that, I have to say: celebrity culture has fucking lied to us. I grew up thinking Entertainment Tonight was actually the news, so almost everything I knew about pregnancy was based on celebrities and how they looked and their interviews and all that shit.

Well, let me tell you something, ladies, if you’re planning on having your first baby and think it’s going to be a walk in the park and you’re going to be as happy and glowing as Angelina fucking Jolie you are WRONG. Celebrities lie to us about pregnancy because there is just no way that shit can be real life. Here are seven of the biggest lies celebs tell us about being knocked up.

So, Demi Lovato Is Still Taking Valtrex

Demi LovatoDamn it, Demi Lovato.  I know you have had some rough patches in your life, but I thought you got past all that.  I hoped you were done making terrible decisions with your life (outside of your hair.  You still make stupid choices there, not gonna lie).

But noooo.  You just had to post a lovely dovey selfie on Twitter reminding the world that you not only used to dry hump one of the douchiest men in Hollywood, but that you are still letting your crotch call the shots in your life.  Ugh.

Jennifer Lopez Is Officially The Ultimate Ass Muse

Jennifer Lopez I, like most of the rest of the world, am pretty sick and tired of hearing about Kim Kardashians Silly Putty-looking ass.  Even though it has been quite a few days, those damn naked photos of her are still all over the place, and finally someone is taking a stand against the uproar.

Sir Mix-a-Lot, the man who made rapping about asses cool for multiple generations, has come out and let the world know that Kim’s ass is the not the end all be all of asses.  In fact, his most famous tune was actually written about another bottom gifted celebrity, one who probably hasn’t gotten 2000 ccs of silicone injected into her body.