It’s that time again.

Time to splash your feet around in our weekly puddle of poetry. The rules of the game are simple: we take a celebrity and challenge you, our beautiful hecklerchildren, to scribble out a haiku about them. (Note for the illiterate: a haiku is an ancient form of Japanese poetry). Best one wins!

This week’s celebrity? None other than couch-jumping midget superstar Tom Cruise.

This week’s prize? Same as ever, folks. A mouthwatering tube of Fruit Pastilles (non-specific brand, of course).

Feeling lucky?

Course you are…

First up, let’s take a look at last week’s winner.

We asked you to submit your bestest most chucklesome haiku about the fact that Abi Titmuss had become good pals with David Beckham on the set of Goal 2.

The winner was an undoubtedly lovely young lady named Natasha who tickled us (metaphorically) with the following Titmuss-Beckham poetic ode:

Bint: thick of waist, thus

Inconceivable it is

That she would "get it"

Stellar work, madam. Send us your details and you’ll get your sweets. In the meantime, wouldn’t you – yes, you - love the chance to win your very own tube of sugar-coated jellies? Goddamn right you would. And here’s how to do it.

This weeks story:

Tom Cruise (DVDs) has agreed to appear in the next series of Ricky Gervais’s Extras.

Just remember the golden rule of haiku – five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. Want an example of some sort? Oh, alright, then ….

Undersized ‘actor’

seeks credibility fix

from cheeky fat scamp

Now it’s your turn. Post your entries in the comments box below. And keep dreaming those confectionery dreams …

Read More:

Tom Cruise For Extras – Waveguide