Howdy folks! As you all know, last week’s Kate Moss Haiku Competition was such a rip-roaring success (look – just play along) that us cray-zee guys here at hecklerspray have decided to make it a regular feature!

This week, we’re offering you the chance to flex your Ancient Japanese Poetry Skills over idiotic porn-scribbling implant-wobbler Abi Titmuss. But first let’s take a look at last week’s winner…

We challenged you, dear hecklers, to come up with your very own Haiku all about the subject of Kate Moss turning to poetry to see herself through rehab.

Having pontificated and cogitated and other things that nutter from Masterchef used to say, we’ve decided that an entry by someone called ‘Made Of Squares’ is the champion…

There is nothing worse

than a drug-fuelled celeb twat

resorting to verse

Well done, ‘Made’. Send us your details and we’ll get your prize posted to you straight away – that’s right, a delicious tube of Fruit Pastilles will soon be plopping happily through your letterbox!

Fancy winning your own tube of chewy sweets? Let’s be honest – who doesn’t? To be in with a chance, all you have to do is write the best Haiku about this week’s topic:

Abi Titmuss has struck up a chatty new friendship with footballer David Beckham on the set of Goal 2.

Think you can convey that via the medium of poetry? Give it your best shot. Remember the golden Haiku rule, though – five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. Want hecklerspray to give you an example? Oh, go on then …

Sad blonde tit-hoister

meets football-playing man-child

Nothing smart is said

Think you can beat that? Sure you do. Entries in that there comments box, if you please …

Read More:

Abi Titmuss Gets Friendly With Becks - Digital Spy

[story by C J Davies]