Another Monday, eh? And what are you going to do with it?

Are you going to treat it as a fresh start, inject a spring to your step and take on the world with new and vigoured confidence? Or are you going to waste time arsing around on the internet in order to avoid paying attention to a job you hate, before going home and drinking three bottles of cornershop red wine and getting stoned while watching Buffy DVDs? Is that what you're going to do? Is it?

Sure it is. But don't worry – it does allow you the chance to play hecklerspray's Celebrity Haiku Competition.

This week our subject is movie-star-type Uma Thurman. First, though, let's have a wee gander at last week's winner…

Seven days ago, we asked you to come up with best haikus about fashion freaks Trinny and Susannah, and how they couldn't care less if they make poor fat ladies cry on telly every week. The champion was someone called Panini – their second victory, no less – whose effort ran:

No surprise, Trinny
And Susannah make me cry
Each time I see them 

Well done, kid. Send us your details and we'll send you your prize. Two whole packets of delicious Space Raiders crisps.

This week's contest? Well, we'd like you to come up with a haiku on the following subject:

Uma Thurman's stalker has been appearing in court, explaining how he's 'in love' with the movie star and wants them to 'be together'.

All you've gotta do is remember the golden rule of Haiku: five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. What's that? An 'example'? Oh, alright:

Uma Thurman Is

The Object Of Desire For

A Mad Mentalist

You can do better than that, right? Entries in the comments box below…