Here it is, folks – a fully-fledged institution as inevitable as a rancid fart after a Happy Meal. The Celebrity Haiku Competition.

Usual prize up for grabs: two whole packets of delicious Space Raiders crisps. The best intergalactic-themed corner shop snack in existence? Damn right. And you could be in with a chance of munching down on 'em within, oohh, a week or so. Possibly.

This week we're looking at pompous fashion-fascists Trinny And Susannah. But – before we kick off our festivities – let's just see who claimed victory last week…

Seven days ago, we asked you to come up with the best haiku about the fact that The Queen had been voted one of the world's most glamorous women by Vogue magazine. The winner was a chap called Sparkymike, whose poetic ode ran like this:

Elizabeth reigns

Vogue thinks she is glamorous

(The Braille edition)

Pretty good, sonny-boy. Send us your details and we'll send you your crisps.

As for the rest of you, why don't you take a look at this week's subject:

TV fashion presenters Trinny And Susannah say they don't feel guilty about making their unfortunate 'makeover' victims frequently burst into tears.

All you have to do is remember the golden haiku rule: five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. Technically – as someone called JBollocks wrote to tell us – you're not really allowed to split lines over verses, but we're a rebellious bunch here at hecklerspray, so we don't much care if you do that or not. An example would look like this:

Trinny and her pal

want to change your clothes. Why not

tell them to fuck off?

Think you can do better? Entries in the comment box, kids…