Celebrity Haiku Competition: Spice Girls Reunion
Then buzz it up
November 27th, 2006 at 11:00 by C J Davies
You know what the best thing about the internet is?
Better even than taking part in that Second Life virtual world game, riding around on a big virtual motorbike and talking to virtual ladies in a sexy virtual voice? And then realising you've wasted roughly six hours of your life doing exactly that? And crying? And crying? And crying?
It's hecklerspray's Celebrity Haiku Competition, that's what: a concept so good that - the day we invented it - we damn near killed ourselves in sheer giddy excitement.
This week we're analysing the frankly horrific prospect - following in the tracks of the Take That get-together - of a Spice Girls reformation. But first let's take a cheeky peek at last week's winner.
Seven days ago, we set you the challenge of writing a haiku about the least surprising celebrity story ever: that junkie Pete Doherty had been arrested due to drugs malarkey. Again. The winner was a no-doubt lovely young lady named Linzi, whose poetic ode ran thus:
Pete Doherty off
his face again, who cares
not me the thick prick
Not too subtle, we'll admit. But damn straight nonetheless.
But what about you? Don't you want the honour of being crowned our weekly haiku champion, so that the whole world can look at your website-emblazoned name and, like, shrug or something? Course you do.
Simply pen a haiku about the following topical celebrity story:
Emma Bunton has revealed that a Spice Girls reunion may be on the cards.
Just remember the golden rule of haiku: five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. An example - based on this week's topic - would go a little somethin' like this:
The Spice Girls Are To
Make A Comeback? Good God. What
Is The Point Of That?
Yeah, yeah, we know. Lame. And you can do a million times better. So prove it, hotshot.
Entries in the comments box below…
Read More:
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- Celebrity Haiku Competition: Bald Britney Spears
- Celebrity Haiku Competition: The Queen
- Spice Girls Pregnancy Betting Odds: Sporty
- Celebrity Haiku Competition: Girls Aloud Split
- Spice Girls To Reform & There’s Nothing You Can Do
- Spice Girls Pregnancy Betting Odds: Posh
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November 27th, 2006 at 11:22 am
Perhaps we’ll get some
lesbian action this time.
They’re a bit old though!
November 27th, 2006 at 11:56 am
Spice Girls reunion?
Let’s all just throw them some cash
To keep their gobs shut
November 28th, 2006 at 3:39 pm
Tell me what you want
What you really really want
Spice Girls suicide
November 28th, 2006 at 7:04 pm
Spice girls to reform
Terrible, horrible news
But I’d still hit that
November 28th, 2006 at 8:39 pm
Running out of cash?
Must be the case to reform
I’ll buy everything
November 29th, 2006 at 2:03 pm
stupid band of hags
attempt to milk the public.
i cant fucking wait.
November 30th, 2006 at 2:51 pm
Sick spice out of date,
get the shotguns now before
it starts to get late!
December 3rd, 2006 at 10:47 pm
Lil’ gusset flasher
must need something to do after
Strictly Come Dancing
March 28th, 2007 at 10:32 pm
Don’t want their future
Trying to forget their past
Just zigazig off!
October 25th, 2007 at 11:10 pm
Spice Girls are all right
I also like big knockers
All things sag with age