Celebrity Haiku Competition: Radiohead
You know the score by now – hecklerspray presents a brief poetry-based diversion to brighten up your cripplingly dull Monday. Apart, of course, from those of you who now take this contest so seriously we're genuinely getting a little bit frightened.
This week we're asking you to scribble out lyrical odes to smilin' Thom Yorke and his pals in Radiohead. But – before we get onto that – let's take a look at last week's winner, shall we?
Last time around, we asked you to write haikus on the following topical celebrity story: that neurotic film-maker Woody Allen had been arguing so much with Spanish locals that he quit shooting his latest movie there. The winner was someone called sparkymike, whose effort ran thus:
Spain is reluctant
To forward its tax money
To wife adopters
Well done, sir.
Hold on – where are you going? There's plenty more fun to be had. Just because Mike was crowned the victor of last week's tussle, that doesn't mean you can't strive to be a champion right here and now. All you've got to do is come up with the best haiku on this tasty morsel:
Following the huge success of their 'In Rainbows' digital download, Radiohead are now closing the site in preparation for the CD/vinyl release.
Just remember the golden rule of haiku: five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. So an example – based on this week's story – would run like this:
Thom and the band
decide to stop giving out
music for 'nothing'
Think you can do better? We'd be frankly astonished if you couldn't. Entries in the comments box below, please…
Read More:
Hecklerspray reader
gets angry; ‘Six syllables!’
he shouts. Innocence dies.
it’s december 10th
where is my f**ing discbox
you wonky bastards
Joke Police:
Ironic number of syllables in the last line, perhaps?
Clever man spots joke,
gloom lightens; anger ne’er shall
darken our doors again.
No-one wanted to
Pay money to Thom Yorke and
His wonky eyeball
In Rainbows’ makers:
“What could be better than free?”
Bigger pot of gold
Joke Police are still
Investigating that last
Haiku; film at 10
get your needle out
somethings under the rainbow
they brought vinyl back
the postman is here
he brings me three new letters
and they are all red
gold in the rainbow
hidden by pay what you want
wonky eye laughing
closing down website
it is time to make paper
now pay what we ask
It’s Thom Yorkes eyeball!
Better paid than I am, thanks.
‘Wonky’ though it be!