You thought it had gone away, hadn't you?

No. It's back. After a week off (we don't work no goddamn bank holidays, mofo) hecklerspray's weekly Celebrity Haiku Competition is back in full force.

What is this feature? some of you may well ask. Well… each and every week we provide you with the chance to scribble out a Haiku (that's an ancient form of Japanese poetry) based on topical happenings from the wonderful world of celebrity news.

The prize? Same as always… a mouthwatering tube of Fruit Pastilles.

Good Christ. Orange, lemon and blackcurrant jellies?

Just imagine.

This week's celebrity target is none other than gibbering talent-void Paris Hilton. Before we get onto her, however, let's take a quick peek at our last winner.

We asked you to write a Haiku about Elton John, and the fact that he had suggested at the Cannes Film Festival that all photographers should be shot.

And – yea – we have a winner. Fair enough, it was also the only entry, but that's never stopped us in the past…

Well done, then, Jessop, whose stellar effort ran thus:

Oh Elton John
You Tubby Gap Toothed Div
No Pics, No Fame. Yes?

Excellent work, my friend. Send us your details and we'll ship those delicious chewy sweets out to you immediately.

The rest of you can simply enter this weeks competition. All you have to do is scribble out a Haiku based on the following topic:

Paris Hilton has vowed never to undergo plastic surgery at any stage in her life.

Just remember the golden rule of Haiku – five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. Suppose you want an 'example' of this, do you? Righty-ho:

 Young Ms. Hilton's face

 will never be remoulded?

 We give it ten years

Blistering barnacles – hecklerspray is sure that you can do a better job than that. So why not give it a go? Entries in that there comments box, if you please …

Read More:

Paris Hilton Vows Never To Go The Plastic Way – Newindpress

[story by C J Davies]