Righty-ho, then.

You know the score. It's Monday. And – as well as affording you yet another chance to sit at your desk weeping, shouting bitterly that your childhood imaginary friend never told you life would be like this – Monday's the day that hecklerspray brings you its weekly Celebrity Haiku Competition.

This week, we're looking at menopausal groovester Madonna. But first? First we've gotta take a peek at last week's winner.

Seven otherwise pointless days ago, we asked you to come up with the best haiku about the fact that inbred royalist Prince William had split up with his girlfriend. The winner was someone called Viking Lumberjack, whose superb effort read:

Look out you ladies:
The wealthy jug-eared pube-head
is free again. Meh.

Well done, Lumberjack. You are now the proud recipient of our weekly prize – two whole packs of Space Raiders (who we've been heralding as the greatest 10p snack in the world for some time now, and who still haven't got round to sending us a boxful of free packets, the bastards). Send us your details, Lumberjack, and we'll send you your victory spoils. Or alternatively don't bother. It's, like, totally up to you.

Anyway. This week we're challenging you to come up with the best haiku about the following topic:

Madonna has flown out of Malawi, finally clutching the little kid she has been trying to adopt for ages.

Just remember the golden rule of haiku: seven syllables, five syllables, seven syllables. An example – based on this week's topic – would go like this:

Ms. Madonna has

finally got her baby

(or accessory)

Yeah, yeah. That was crap. But we know you can do better. And we know you want to prove it. Entries in the comments box below, kids…

Read More:

Madonna Leaves Malawi With Toddler – Metro