As sure as night follows day and the drinking of cheap supermarket cider instills a sense of self-loathing, so Mondays will forever herald the arrival of a brand new hecklerspray Celebrity Haiku Competition. At least until we get bored of it. Or until those of you who take this contest far too seriously begin stalking us, glistening kitchen knife in hand as you ramble on about syllables and syntax and how mummy kept you locked in the cupboard between the ages of seven and nine.
Until that day, let the slightly pointless fun continue.
This week we're looking at pop starlet Joss Stone and her new job as a chocolate saleswoman. Before that, though, let's take a sneaky peek at last week's winner…
Seven days ago, we asked you to come up with the best haiku about the fact that Radiohead had closed down their free download service for In Rainbows and decided to sell it the old-fashioned way instead. The victor was someone called Euclid, whose poetic ode ran thus:
In Rainbows' makers:
"What could be better than free?"
Bigger pot of gold
Well done, sir. But – hey – don't the rest of you go worryin'. Just because you lost out last week, that doesn't mean you're not in with a chance this time around. Just come up with the winning haiku on this week's topic:
Singer Joss Stone is to be the new Cadbury's Flake girl.
Just remember the golden rule of haiku: five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. Why, here be an example (based on this week's story):
Joss Stone eating flake
will now be all over your
television set
Yeah, yeah. That was lame. And you can do better. Entries in the comments box below…
Read More:
Joke Police says
What to do when Yank
accent kills career Stone dead?
Fellate Flakes for cash
joss stone's mum says
joss stone joss stone joss
joss stone joss stone joss stone joss
welsh tit likes flakes mmm
Tom says
Munching flakes all day
will end with Joss Stone crowned:
Fattest Soul Singer.
a flake fan says
if i had a flake
it wouldn’t be coz of joss
stupid welsh rainbow
Gilbert Wham says
I don’t want to do
Haikus about Joss Stone
Not sure who she is
ds says
Watch Joss Stone talk about her music career and being the face of Flake.
http://www.digitalnewsagency.com/story/view/776-exclusive-joss-stone/all
Simon R. Gladdish says
The next time I’m forced to
Listen to Joss Stone I’m going
To stick those Flakes in my ears.
With a name like that
She should really be
Advertising joss-sticks.