Celebrity Haiku Competition: Joss Stone

Joss Stone Celebrity Haiku FlakeAs sure as night follows day and the drinking of cheap supermarket cider instills a sense of self-loathing, so Mondays will forever herald the arrival of a brand new hecklerspray Celebrity Haiku Competition. At least until we get bored of it. Or until those of you who take this contest far too seriously begin stalking us, glistening kitchen knife in hand as you ramble on about syllables and syntax and how mummy kept you locked in the cupboard between the ages of seven and nine.

Until that day, let the slightly pointless fun continue.

This week we're looking at pop starlet Joss Stone and her new job as a chocolate saleswoman. Before that, though, let's take a sneaky peek at last week's winner…

Seven days ago, we asked you to come up with the best haiku about the fact that Radiohead had closed down their free download service for In Rainbows and decided to sell it the old-fashioned way instead. The victor was someone called Euclid, whose poetic ode ran thus:

In Rainbows' makers:
"What could be better than free?"
Bigger pot of gold

Well done, sir. But – hey – don't the rest of you go worryin'. Just because you lost out last week, that doesn't mean you're not in with a chance this time around. Just come up with the winning haiku on this week's topic:

Singer Joss Stone is to be the new Cadbury's Flake girl.

Just remember the golden rule of haiku: five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. Why, here be an example (based on this week's story):

Joss Stone eating flake

will now be all over your

television set

Yeah, yeah. That was lame. And you can do better. Entries in the comments box below…

Read More:

Joss Stone Set To Be New Flake Girl – Daily Snack 


  1. joss stone's mum says

    joss stone joss stone joss
    joss stone joss stone joss stone joss
    welsh tit likes flakes mmm

  2. Simon R. Gladdish says

    The next time I’m forced to
    Listen to Joss Stone I’m going
    To stick those Flakes in my ears.

    With a name like that
    She should really be
    Advertising joss-sticks.