Celebrity Haiku Competition: Girls Aloud Split

Yeah, yeah. We know this feature should technically be a regular Monday thing. But we like to keep you on your toes.

For those of you who have never experienced the fantablastulistic (and, of course, endlessly endlessly popular) Celebrity Haiku Competition, this is where hecklerspray offers you the chance to WIN BIG by penning a special poem about a particularly topical celebrity story.

This week, we're getting all teary-eyed and asking you to write your very own tribute poems to sadly-departed pop tarts Girls Aloud.

But first let's take a wee gander at last week's winner.

Seven days ago, we asked you to scribble out a haiku about the fact that monobrowed dad-rocker Noel Gallagher had been naughtily stealing tunes from Burt Bacarach songs. Our winner (and by 'winner', by the way, we definitely don't mean 'our only entrant', oh no siree) was a chap called Jambo, whose stellar effort ran thus:

So you ripped off the
Royle Family theme tune?
You Thunderbirds fool 

Nice one, Jambo. Send us your details and we'll send you your prize.

Ah – the prize. You know… hecklerspray has been thinking. Maybe the reason our Celebrity Haiku Competition isn't really taking off is because of our weekly Top Prize. For what seems like decades now, we've been giving away a tube of Fruit Pastilles to the winning haiku-writer. But now we realise… maybe that isn't a good prize at all. Maybe you poetry-scribblers deserve something better.

This week's prize, then… a whole goddam six-strong multipack of Chewits (or the closest alternative that we find down the post office).

You lucky bastards.

To be in with a chance of winning such sweet-based goodness, simply launch us a Haiku about the following subject: 

Dim yet shaggable pop group Girls Aloud have finally called it a day.

Just remember the golden rule of Haiku, kids – five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. What's that, you young whippersnappers? You want us to provide an 'example'? Righty-ho…

Otherwise Useless
Tarts Come To End Of Reprieve
From Tesco Checkout

Think you can do better than that? We're positive you can. Just leave your entries in the comments box below.

SIX packs of Chewits, people… 

Read More:

Girls Aloud For The High Jump – News Of The World

[story by C J Davies]