Celebrity Haiku Competition: Bald Britney Spears
February 21st, 2007 at 11:30 by C J Davies
Okay… so this feature has been AWOL for a while.
Don’t worry, haiku fans. It’ll be back soon. As a matter of fact, we’ve been busy redesigning and rejigging it and - trust us - it’ll be back soon, better than ever before. Maybe even with big money prizes. Or not. Actually - almost certainly not. Sorry.
The thing is … we just couldn’t let this one slip by. So we’d thought we’d resurrect Celebrity Haiku Competition for a brief one-off special.
You know the rules, people. Simply scribble out a haiku (that’s an ancient form of Japanese poetry, kids) about the topical celebrity story of the hour - namely the one about Britney Spears going all head-shavey and mental.
The prize? Why, the sheer glory of a) knowing that you are the best celebrity haiku writer in all the land, and b) getting your name mentioned on hecklerspray. What could be better than that? Nothing, that’s what. Nothing.
All you’ve gotta do is remember the golden rule of Haiku - five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. An example would read like this:
So Britney has gone
and shaved her head bald? Oh well
I’d still give her one
Oh, come on. That was rushed, okay? You can do better than that, right?
Entries in the comments box below, if you please…
Read more:
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February 21st, 2007 at 11:41 am
You’d still give her one?
CJ Davies, are you sure
you aren’t blind or thick?
February 21st, 2007 at 12:03 pm
no, pedro - just equipped with the gift of very low standards
February 21st, 2007 at 1:12 pm
I like my 5th attempt best … — John
1)
Oops, she shaved her head
And all the girls will follow
Oops, it’s growing back
2)
Britney shaved her hair
Her baby boy has no hair
So both are bald now
3)
Both Britney and son
are now both without their hair
the boy started it
4)
Like Mother Like Son
Life sans hair is lots of fun
Paris Hilton next?
5)
Now her head is bald
to match the nasty net pix
Paris? Lindsay? Next?
February 21st, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Behold spectacle
That is ‘fuzzy-nut Britney’
(Both meanings apply)
February 21st, 2007 at 4:38 pm
Britney is now bald.
Her bald head looks like an egg.
Possibly scrambled.
February 21st, 2007 at 5:51 pm
Her head like the moon
Round and white, a shiny orb
Likely filled with cheese
February 21st, 2007 at 7:09 pm
A spooky haiku in honor of Halloween in about eight months:
Anna Nicole Smith
And James Brown are not buried.
Britney will beat them.
February 21st, 2007 at 9:29 pm
No hair, not a bit
Rehab twice now and Brit quit
No talent, no shit!
February 21st, 2007 at 9:54 pm
Brittney shaved her head
She only wanted to make
Cuffs and collar match
February 21st, 2007 at 10:45 pm
First her vagina
And now her big ugly head
What else can she shave?
March 14th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
Brittney Spears lost it.
I think she looks like Boy Geogre
Cleaning up New York.
March 28th, 2007 at 10:11 pm
Poor Britney, mad coot
Still can’t compete with Sinead -
Nowt compares 2U
April 25th, 2007 at 4:25 pm
The note read “Britney,
Christina Aguilera
is sending wigs round.”
May 15th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
Best one yet.
August 26th, 2007 at 1:03 am
bald girl bashing car
ruined umbrella, wild eyes
Girl’s gone wild? No shit.
August 26th, 2007 at 6:28 pm
Oh Britney, sans hair
diabolical vengeance
no SUV safe