Now that Comic Relief is zooming its way towards you at an incredible rate, it can only mean one thing – Celebrity Fame Academy is back for a week-and-a-bit run, giving you the chance to help charity by declaring your dislike for her out of Birds Of A Feather.
For the uninitiated, here's what Celebrity Fame Academy is – it's X Factor. But they can't call it X Factor, so they call it Celebrity Fame Academy. In Celebrity Fame Academy some famous people sing, you vote for them and money gets raised to help all kinds of worthy charities. And, just to get you hardened to all the harrowing, uncomfortable images of disability and starvation that Comic Relief is so fond of, Patrick Kielty is allowed to present it. And we're doing betting odds on Celebrity Fame Academy. And it starts now.
Here's part one of this week's Celebrity Fame Academy betting odds – for Angellica Bell, Ray Stubbs, Miranda Hart and Fred McAulay – with betting odds from Paddy Power…
Angellica Bell – Angellica Bell comes to Celebrity Fame Academy from Children's BBC and a programme about holidays that we think we watched once. Such is Angellica's dedication to charity that she actually postponed her honeymoon to take part in Celebrity Fame Academy – but probably not for long, because she's the rank outsider to win at the moment. Her version of Superstar on Saturday's Celebrity Fame Academy was like a scary witch. Or a tiny mouse. Or a tiny scary mouse in a witch's hat. Look, she wasn't very good, alright? Current Celebrity Fame Academy betting odds – 50/1
Ray Stubbs – Anyone who has ever been stuck inside on a rainy Saturday evening knows Ray Stubbs from BBC's sports coverage – he's the one who is simultaneously duller and infinitely less stabbable than Gary Lineker. On Celebrity Fame Academy on Saturday, Ray Stubbs put his anti-personality to good use, grinding out a version of Come Up And See Me in the style of the Final Score announcer and looking for all his life like he wanted to die. Good job too – the Celebrity Fame Academy judges universally hated him, and it should be too long before Ray Stubbs bolts from Celebrity Fame Academy to the safety of the Lakeside Darts Championships again. Current Celebrity Fame Academy betting odds – 40/1
Miranda Hart – You may know Miranda Hart better as… oh, who are we kidding? Nobody knows who Miranda Hart is, not even her immediate family. From what we can gather she's a rather large lady with a taste for awful hats who was on one episode of Lead Balloon once. We think. But full respect must go to Miranda Hart for papering over her nerves about appearing on Celebrity Fame Academy by thundering out Crazy Crazy Nights by Kiss in the style of a disinhibited sherry-taster at a church fete. And not especially in a good way, either. She won't be in Celebrity Fame Academy for very long, but that's just because she's so staggeringly anonymous. Current Celebrity Fame Academy betting odds – 33/1
Fred McAulay – Fred McAulay must be eternally grateful for the inclusion of Miranda Hart on Celebrity Fame Academy, because it just makes sure that he's not the least famous contestant. Fred was introduced to the Celebrity Fame Academy crowd via a clip of him semi-smiling on Have I Got News For You, and that's about as good as it gets for Fred. As for the singing, Fred's first foray into Celebrity Fame Academy was Why Does It Always Rain On Me by Travis, in the style of a man who'd never heard Why Does It Always Rain On Me by Travis in his entire effing life. He also wore a kilt, the wacky, wacky man. Current Celebrity Fame Academy betting odds – 25/1
Tomorrow – More of these Celebrity Fame Academy betting odds. There are a lot of them singing, you know. But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Celebrity Fame Academy betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.
Valencia says
No mention of Rowland ‘comedy boobs’ Rivron? I have never seen a man die on his arse in such a spectacular way as Rowland ‘comedy boobs’ Rivron on Fame Academy this weekend