With four housemates up for nomination, this week’s Celebrity Big Brother eviction could go either way.

Well, we say either way. It’s unlikely to go the way we want it to go, which involves Mutya, Michelle, Tina and Ulrika all being evicted and the remaining housemates being set on fire. But, within the parameters of the law, the Celebrity Big Brother eviction could go either way.

Yesterday we looked at the eviction chances of Mutya and Ulrika, and today we’re going to have a butchers at Tina Malone. Excited? Good.

Tina Malone – There’s a very good reason why Tina Malone got more nominations that anyone else this week, even more than Coolio. And that reason, like you need to be told, is that Tina Malone is an exceptional arsehole. Loud, lacking any visible signs of self-awareness – instead she seems to possess awareness of a sort of supermodel version of Oscar Wilde – and so professionally Scouse that we keep involuntarily checking our pockets every time she’s on screen, Tina Malone is one of Celebrity Big Brother‘s biggest irritants. An eviction tomorrow night would shock her more than any of the housemates, but let’s be honest. If the Liverpudlian territorial pride is enough to get terrifying ventriloquist’s dummy Ray Quinn through to the X Factor final, it’s easily enough to breeze Tina Malone through this first eviction nomination. More’s the pity. She really does seem like a turd.

Tomorrow: Michelle Heaton.

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