The first eviction of Celebrity Big Brother 2009 takes place tomorrow – it might be 10 evictions too few, but let’s not split hairs right now, eh?

Facing the chop from Celebrity Big Brother tomorrow night are Lucy Pinder and Ulrika Jonsson – so a woman paid to get her boobs out in public and a woman paid to tell everyone about all the people she’s ever got her boobs out for in private. Exciting!

So who do we think will be evicted from Celebrity Big Brother tomorrow night? Let’s start by looking at the chances of Lucy Pinder, shall we?

Lucy Pinder – Lucy Pinder was put up for Celebrity Big Brother eviction after Terry Christian deemed her to be the least talented housemate. Which is fair, really, since Lucy’s talent show demonstration this week was so breathtakingly dull that we’re fairly sure we passed out three or four times during the course of it. Unwilling to demonstrate her only real talent – having knockers big enough to suffocate a buffalo with – Lucy’s Celebrity Big Brother display consisted of a) a verbal CV that even she appeared to be embarrassed by and b) a diatribe against the Labour party that couldn’t have been more vague or listless if it was spoken by a pensioner with ME who never bothered to learn what politics was.

Having said that, though, it doesn’t look like Lucy Pinder will be evicted from the Celebrity Big Brother house tomorrow night for two reasons – firstly she hasn’t taken her top off yet and secondly she isn’t Ulrika Jonsson. That last one by itself would probably be enough to seal it, to be honest.

Tomorrow: will Ulrika Jonsson be evicted from Celebrity Big Brother? Well, yes. Probably.

You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!