Make the most of these next few hours, because at 8:30pm Celebrity Big Brother starts – and your life will effectively freeze for a month, as news about two hazily-remembered microcelebrities squabbling over rice starts to take on immense significance.
But we still don't know who any of the Celebrity Big Brother housemates are yet, and we won't until Davina McCall introduces them tonight. Sure, we're bound to be in for a few "What? George Galloway!?" moments – and no doubt a few "Preston from The Ordinary whatnow?" moments too – but Paddy Power has a huge list of possible Celebrity Big Brother hopefuls, and we're going to finish showing them to you right now, so that you can use the gigantic betting odds to make a bundle of cash.
Here's the final part of our pre-series Celebrity Big Brother betting odds for a whole load of unconfirmed celebrities, with help from Paddy Power…
Robert Kilroy Silk – Some people on this list will have stopped being famous because they got old or wore out their talent too soon, or may have never been famous at all, but Robert Kilroy Silk stopped being famous because everyone suddenly realised what a massive wanker he is. Racist, intolerant, grasping, arrogant, condescending, fluorescent… we could continue to list reasons why Robert Kilroy Silk is one of the biggest arseholes this country has ever produced, but we won't. Because we get the horrible feeling that Robert Kilroy Silk might just be the most entertaining thing about Celebrity Big Brother this year. And, yes, we do hate ourselves for admitting that. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 10/1
Tara Reid – At the turn of the century Tara Reid had a promising acting career in a number of teen comedies. Fast forward seven years and Tara Reid is famous for so much more, like a) being wasted all the time, b) being the owner of some honestly harrowing cosmetic surgery and c) somehow being the worst thing in any Uwe Boll film ever. Wait a minute, that sort of makes Tara Reid the Pete Burns of this year's Celebrity Big Brother. Ace! Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 8/1
Su Pollard – It's bewildering to think that Su Pollard hasn't been on a reality TV show like Celebrity Big Brother before, since the genre seems to have been invented especially for her. Su Pollard has exactly the right mix of nostalgia, one-dimensional personality traits and an unrelenting compulsion to be the centre of attention to be a success on Celebrity Big Brother. However, can you imagine anything worse than being locked in a room with H from Steps and Su Pollard? Apart from being locked in a room with H from Steps and Su Pollard and watching them have sex, of course. Oh the humanity. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 8/1
Adam Ant – First things first – Dirk Wears White Sox by Adam And The Ants is genuinely one of the best albums that money can buy. And Adam Ant is quite obviously a genius – at one point in 1981 seven songs in the top 40 were his, plus he's probably also had sex with Jamie Lee Curtis and Heather Graham. That's not why Adam Ant is probably going to be on Celebrity Big Brother, though – he's going to be on Celebrity Big Brother because he's bipolar, once held up a pub with an imitation gun while dressed as a cowboy and changed the lyrics of Stand And Deliver to Save The Gorilla complete with monkey noise solo. Who mentioned car crash television? Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 7/1
Sarah Harding – We're told that Sarah Harding is one of Girls Aloud. Not the Irish one, not the ginger one, not the one who was supposed to have called a bathroom attendant a "jigaboo" and not the completely nondescript one – Sarah Harding is the blonde one who seems to be contractually obliged to appear in a bra in at least one tabloid newspaper every day. We can't think why Sarah Harding is meant to be on Celebrity Big Brother. Perhaps it's for her sparkling conversation. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 7/1
Justin Hawkins – Justin Hawkins didn't quit The Darkness for the reason everyone thought – that he'd ridden his one-joke pony to death and nobody liked him any more – but because he took a lot of cocaine and being in a band wasn't good for his recovery. Good job Celebrity Big Brother is around, then – everyone knows that having your smallest movements analysed in forensic detail on a constantly-televised popularity contest is just the thing for recovering drug addicts. Still, at least Justin Hawkins was in rehab with Tom from Keane and Pete Doherty, so he has vital experience in living with arseholes. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 6/1
Whitney Houston – That's right, you heard. Whitney Houston. Reports are saying that Celebrity Big Brother producers offered Whitney Houston half a million pounds to appear on the show, but whether or not she accepted remains to be seen. It'll be a big score for Celebrity Big Brother if Whitney Houston does appear – she's a household name and has sold more than 140 million albums – and we're almost certain that the fact that she happens to be a recovering reclusive crack addict who's divorcing her abusive husband amid claims that Osama Bin Laden had a giant crush on her is just a coincidence. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 5/1
Tomorrow – we'll see how many of these fools actually made it to the Celebrity Big Brother house, and hit you with some new Celebrity Big Brother betting odds. In the meantime, go to Paddy Power right now and place a bet, you hear?
Clinically Jon says
I only want to see Whitney Houston on Big Brother if she can convince Kilroy to tug some doodie bubbles