The new series of Celebrity Big Brother kicks off tomorrow, ensuring that you'll only eat, sleep, think, breathe and poo Celebrity Big Brother from now on – and we've got all the Celebrity Big Brother betting odds that matter.
"But wait a minute," you're shouting at your computer like some kind of flid "if Celebrity Big Brother doesn't start until tomorrow, where the flipping cock are you getting all these Celebrity Big Brother betting odds from?" And the answer is Paddy Power. From now until the moment that some deluded hasbeen wins Celebrity Big Brother and briefly gets sponsored as the face of Mr Kipling before quickly ceasing to be famous again, hecklerspray and Paddy Power are teaming up to give you the freshest, most up-to-the-minute Celebrity Big Brother betting odds your mortal eyes are ever likely to see.
"Yes, that's a nice plug and everything" you're now somewhat impatiently bellowing, "but who's actually going to be on Celebrity Big Brother this year?" Well, nobody really knows. But Paddy Power thinks it knows, and so here's part one of Celebrity Big Brother betting odds for some people to win Celebrity Big Brother even though no names have actually been confirmed yet, with help from Paddy Power…
Grace Jones – The scariest Bond girl in history and the woman behind the genuinely classic Pull Up To The Bumper single, Grace Jones is a basically just a terrifying nutcase. Grace already has a reputation for being an arsehole, so winning the public over enough to emerge victorious from Celebrity Big Brother might be ever so slightly impossible. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 33/1
Jermaine Jackson – You know the Jackson 5 song I Want You Back? You know how the only thing stopping it from being the greatest song ever written is the bit where someone that isn't Michael Jackson sings a solitary line about two minutes and 26 seconds in? Well, that's Jermaine Jackson for you. Jermaine is most recently famous for his alleged "no really, Michael Jackson actually is a paedophile" book, which should keep the Celebrity Big Brother editors busy at least. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 20/1
Leilani Dowding – Leilani Dowding is famous for getting her wobbly hoo-hahs out all the time, including once on This Morning, which should really make her the Jodie Marsh of this year's Celebrity Big Brother. However, Leilani appears to actually be quite normal – if staggeringly dim – and she doesn't have a face like a twiglet in a furnace, so that's where the Jodie Marsh comparisons end. It's hard to see the important non-pubescent demographic caring too much about this one, though – Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 16/1
Carol Lee Scott – We admit that we had to Google Carol Lee Scott, but we needn't have – she was only bloody Grotbags wasn't she? Oh, you know, Grotbags – the fat witch enemy of Rod Hull and Emu. Already we can see Carol Lee Scott being the ironic arsehole's choice of Celebrity Big Brother contestant which means, win or lose, she'll have earnt her right to grind out £50 public appearances at horrifying student union bars for some time yet. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 14/1
Paul Michael Glaser – Hey, it's the Starsky And Hutch guy. You know, the one who Ben Stiller played in the moderately funny movie from a couple of years ago. We can't really remember if that was Starsky or Hutch, if we're honest. Anyway, it probably isn't wise to bet on Paul Michael Glaser, since his official website denies any involvement in Celebrity Big Brother this year. Having said that, his official website does look as if it was designed by a penguin with learning difficulties, so who can really say for sure. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 14/1
Ian "H" Watkins – It takes someone really special to shine as the biggest twat in a band of twats like Steps, but that's what Ian "H" Watkins did – even managing to out-twat the dot-eyed talent void that is Lisa Scott-Lee. And now it looks like Ian "H" Watkins is gunning for the really big goal; shining as the biggest twat in the Celebrity Big Brother house. A month of H From Steps on TV? Kill us now. On the plus side, years of obscurity might mean we could be in for a Barrymore-style meltdown from H at any point. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 12/1
Lil' Kim – There are a couple of people on this list that we're desperately hoping will be on Celebrity Big Brother, and Lil' Kim is one of them. For a start, Lil' Kim needs the money – she's only been out of prison for six months, so her finances must be all over the place. Secondly, Lil' Kim has a dirty dirty mouth on her, and we all know that swearing is cool. Lastly – and most importantly – Lil' Kim is a teeny weeny minuscule woman, and laughing at midgets is a national obsession, especially midgets who say "motherfucker" a lot. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 12/1
Tomorrow – we're only halfway through this list of possible Celebrity Big Brother contenders. Come back tomorrow for the rest, including orange racists, rat-faced drug addicts and a woman with more constipated turds compacted into her rectum than anyone else on earth. And don't forget to check out Paddy Power for the very latest Celebrity Big Brother betting odds around.
Seu says
Grace Jones would destroy H in a millisecond with one jerk of her clenched fist… I’m praying they end up sharing a single bed tomorrow
Taz says
It’s a fair bet that Michael Barrymore will not be in this years Big Brother he may be a little busy at the moment. He stars in Scrooge the musical in panto and is busy continuing his acting role.
Reese says
Ian will win.. Everyone thought he was a hyperactive freak and that going in the house was going to be a huge mistake, Ians really a down to earth person and his hyper side is more of a shield that comes out when he knows he’s infront the camera or when he’s nervous.
As he has shown while on BB, he’s nothing like he appears and is a really quiet and nice guy.
Im voting him to win. He’s one of a very few who are actually being themself in there.
Reese. x