After a week of pretty much not a whole lot, housemates are starting to pour out of the Celebrity Big Brother house like rats off a sinking ship; first Jackiey left Celebrity Big Brother in a fog of swearwords and trumpy guffs, and another leaves tonight.
Yesterday the Celebrity Big Brother housemates nominated each other for tonight's big eviction, so today will be the final day in the Celebrity Big Brother house for either Carol Malone (because she broke the rules and discussed nominations) Leo Sayer (because he's a great big dickhead) or Dirk Benedict (because… um, actually we don't know why Dirk's been nominated). Who goes? You decide. And if you can't be bothered to decide – like us – you can at least make some cash by placing a Celebrity Big Brother bet.
Usually at this point we'd give you some Celebrity Big Brother betting odds for the eviction, but it caught us a bit by surprise and so you're getting the second part of our Celebrity Big Brother betting odds to win – for Jo O'Meara, Danielle Lloyd, Jade Goody, Shilpa Shetty, Cleo Rocos and Dirk Benedict – with help from the radiant Paddy Power, and you'll bloody well like it…
Jo O'Meara – When Celebrity Big Brother began, we were certain that Jo O'Meara had somehow absorbed the spirit of dear old dead Pauline Fowler into her body. She'd complain about everything; the way her last album failed, the way that she was breeding dogs for a living, the way that she was being forced to share a house with a journalist – but we might be over the worst now. Now instead of out-and-out complaining, Jo's Celebrity Big Brother experience seems to be comprised of a constant low-level grumbling and a slight regret that S Club 7 aren't still together. All this means that Jo O'Meara isn't the favourite to win Celebrity Big Brother that she once was by any means, which means that the S Club 7 reunion will never happen, which means we'll never get to see lovely Tina on our TV again. Damn you for your excessive misery, Jo! Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 14/1
Danielle Lloyd – Over the last couple of days Danielle Lloyd was heard to remark that she wants to write an autobiography because she's "been through so much shit." We've got a prospective title for that autobiography for her, too: Born, Got Naked, Shagged A Footballer Who Was Old Enough To Be My Dad, Died. Danielle has spent almost as much of her Celebrity Big Brother airtime complaining as Jo has, only the bulk of Danielle's complaints have either been about how completely creepy Leo Sayer is – which is reasonable – or how she doesn't like wearing a hat. It's hard to gauge how the Celebrity Big Brother audience feels about Danielle Lloyd, but that's only because the concept of anyone having an opinion on the girl is totally alien to us. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 12/1
Jade Goody – "I don't want to be a Mum to my own Mum," Jade Goody told Jack the other day on Celebrity Big Brother – that's not strictly true; Jade actually said "Oi dahhn wearnner bya mahm ter me arn mahm" – and with good reason, because putting up with Jackiey Budden was bad enough if you were just a casual Celebrity Big Brother viewer, so imagine what it must be like to know that she gave birth to you. But responsibility suits Jade to some extent, and it's helped her establish a lot of close friendships in the Celebrity Big Brother house. We even think that Jermaine is warming to her. Perhaps this is going to start a whole new mature chapter in the life of Jade Goody, one that will see her being accepted by the society that previously mocked her. What's that? Jade won't shut up about Jack trying to have sex with her ear? OK, we take all that back. Current Celebrity Bug Brother betting odds – 8/1
Shilpa Shetty – It's amazing what happens to you when one of The A Team takes a shine to you and a one-armed lesbian starts underhandedly referring to you as "The Indian" isn't it? At the start of the week, Shilpa Shetty's Celebrity Big Brother betting odds were mediocre at best, but now – ever since the chance of seeing a Bollywood actress get dicked by Faceman has grown infinitesimally larger – Shilpa Shetty is in the top three. Of course, that might not be the reason why Shilpa's Celebrity Big Brother stock has risen so dramatically – people might be siding with Shilpa over her constant rows with Jackiey – but… come to think of it, it probably is the only reason. God, you're a bunch of perverts. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 5/1
Cleo Rocos – There's an old saying that says it's much more interesting to look at a stormy sky than a clear blue one, and we can't help thinking that when we look at Cleo Rocos. She is unashamedly a clear blue sky – her Celebrity Big Brother stint has been marked by the cheerily untroubled way that she won't let any problems touch her. That's lovely for the rest of the Celebrity Big Brother housemates, we're sure, but we sort of wish that there was more going on inside Cleo Rocos' head. We wish that Cleo Rocos was more of a stormy sky than a clear blue one. However, there's another saying that says it's much more interesting to look at a stormy sky than a clear blue one, but a clear blue sky with great big tits will probably end up in the Celebrity Big Brother final. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 5/2
Dirk Benedict – Ah, the Celebrity Big Brother love story. There's nothing that transforms a charming – but slightly dull – television actor into a clear-cut favourite to win Celebrity Big Brother like a good old fashioned love story. Forget for a moment that Shilpa has already pointed out that she'll never let anything happen with Dirk Benedict because he's too old and not an Indian; it's enough that being close to Shilpa has given Dirk the chance to stop hanging around Leo Sayer with a murderous look in his eye all the time. You won't be seeing Dirk Benedict and Shilpa Shetty starring in magazine spreads or presenting The World's Craziest Police Chases together, but the vague hint of romance has just lifted Dirk Benedict enough for him to be the favourite to win Celebrity Big Brother. Unless he's evicted tonight, obviously. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 9/4
Next week – Either brand new Celebrity Big Brother betting odds to win or brand new Celebrity Big Brother betting odds for an eviction, depending on what shit Celebrity Big Brother pulls over the weekend. But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Celebrity Big Brother betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.