Celebrities’ Relatives To Humiliate Themselves
You know what the best thing in the whole wide world is? Being a celebrity, that's what.
In fact – seeing as fame is essentially the only thing in the world really worth aspiring to – everyone in the hecklerspray office has made a pact to kill themselves if we're not all on the cover of Heat within the next six minutes.
Think that's bad? Just imagine how it would feel being the close relative of a celebrity, then. Imagine the crushing realisation that you're not nearly as widely-known and VIP-listed as your sibling, so you may as well just throw yourself off a cliff and let your non-famous bones shatter against the slimy rocks below.
But wait! Apparently discount store T J Hughes is launching a new advertising campaign! And they need relatives of celebrity superstars to take part in it! That means that now those poor lost souls get the chance to plaster their faces all over a series of billboards too, therefore giving complete validation for every aspect of their existence!
Yay!
Apparently the campaign will scream 'It's about bargains – not expensive celebs', while picturing the gurning grins of people like Wayne Rooney's brother, Robbie William's father and… erm… Carol Vorderman's mother.
According to chief executive Robin Dickie:
"Our customers aren't daft. They know that celebrities come with a price tag and we want to prove that, unlike some high street retailers, we aren't prepared to incur this cost and then pass it on to the buyer."
Maybe this campaign could be a huge hit. If so, we're betting that all sorts of celebrity relations are going to want to muscle in on the act – you know, people like Peaches Geldof's reanimated mother, the million children of James Brown, or the team of genetic scientists that fathered X Factor's Ray Quinn from a fizzing batch of radioactive weasel DNA. Which would all be extremely eye-catching to say the least.
Still wouldn't make us shop there, mind.
Read More:
OMG————————– a career for Danni Minogue ..At Last !!!!!!!………though why she is less known that her terrible sister i will never know. Oh wait..she pretends to be a normal human and her sister cultivate dthat cloying ethereal too good to be human public image of nothingness that cons folk into believing she earns sainthood to the extents that nobody thought she was a “real person” until she got ..er “sick”…..now she is the sainted one for handling chemo.My gut wrenches over celebs ..please let us not be burdened with their dreadful relatives.!!!