The Scream by Edvard Munch is the ultimate symbol of modern man's existential angst when confronted with the uncontainable power of nature. Either that or it's that picture of the scary lightbulb man, one or the other.

Two years ago, The Scream by Edvard Munch was stolen from The Munch Museum in Oslo along with Madonna, Edvard Munch's representation of an old lady wearing clothes and making music that are slightly two inappropriately young for her. But now Oslo police have recovered both The Scream and Madonna by Edvard Munch following a successful operation. Sadly, though, neither masterpieces will be returned to the Munch Museum, as the artworks have been permanently replaced by one poster of Slipknot and another or two young lesbians looking as if they're about to touch each other up a bit.

Have you ever heard of the Los Lunas Stone? Yeah, us neither, until recently. It's a rock weighing over eighty tons with what could be the oldest inscription of the ten commandments in the world. It's written in Paleo-Hebrew, and it's in the middle of the United States of America. Did we mention it predates Columbus?

Who were the first non-American Indians to discover America? Was it Columbus in 1492? Was it the Vikings hundreds of years earlier? Was it the Portuguese, Chinese, or Japanese?

The answer there is that no-one knows. But one thing we do know is that an awful long time ago someone carved a bunch of Hebrew on a rock that weighs more than an 80 ton stack of cars, in Los Lunas, New Mexico.

Take Wal-Mart for example. Even though it is the world's largest retailer, Wal-Mart still has to contend with racist computer software. How racist? Racist enough to make the suggestion that people looking for DVDs about famous black Americans might be interested in buying Planet Of The Apes.

You can stick your Furbies up your arse - this Christmas we want a Mechanical Death Spider.

If you're not sure what a Mechanical Death Spider does, let us fill you in. It's a spider. It's mechanical. And it can maim and kill all sorts of stuff.

In case that explanation hasn't instantly made you decide that you want a Mechanical Death Spider, we've got

The Tate is among one of the first institutions to snap up works of art from the thousands of items being exhibited at the Frieze Art Fair, which opened its doors to the happy proles this morning.

Yup, you heard us right. Check out this astonishing piece of tech wizardry, as seen on World's Favourite Bookmark, BoingBoing. It is a clone of Dance Dance Revolution ported for a calculator. Obviously the dance mat has been done away with, leaving you to press the appropriate buttons to make the moves, brother!

Fuck maths, let's dance:

http://www.boingboing.net/2005/10/18/dance_dance_revoluti.html