There’s not a lot to explain here, really. Denise Richards cannot sing. She cannot sing. Denise Richards literally cannot sing.

In fact, all there is to say here is that Denise Richards was asked to sing Take Me Out To The Ball Game during the 7th inning stretch of a Chicago Cubs game at Wrigley Field on Friday, and she obliged. But she obliged in a way that may have caused widespread irreversible bleeding deafness.

So instead we’ll show you the video after the jump, along with a list of five things that Denise Richards sounds like when she sings…

5 - When Denise Richards sings, she sounds like a rabid fox having sex with a pelican.

4 – When Denise Richards sings, she sounds like Gladys Kravitz from Bewitched falling down a rocky slope on her face.

3 – When Denise Richards sings, she sounds like the opening number from Abattoir: The Musical.

2 - When Denise Richards sings, she sounds like the noise that Denise Richards’ mother made when she first saw Wild Things all the way through.

1 – When Denise Richards sings, she sounds like a a million rape alarms going off in an echo chamber made of crying children.

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There’s no doubt boxing is a tough sport. There’s the months of gruelling exercise in the build-up to a big fight. Then there’s getting into the ring. Then there’s getting your head pummelled for several rounds by your opponent.

Then, of course, there’s getting back out of the ring.

Wait a minute. Since when was getting in and out of the ring that tough? Well, put it this way, it wasn’t until this clown showed up. If Frank Bruno and Mike Tyson can work it out, this guy must have the IQ of a misinformed centipede. The most astonishing thing is the only injury he gets is when he falls out of the ring.

We know it can hard, but whatever you do – don’t fall asleep at the Shea Stadium.

Why? Because it does not take too long for the rest of the bored New York Mets fans to turn their attentions on you. Especially if there is nothing on the field to distract them. That is certainly the case for this drunken Mets fan, who found the action between his favourite team and the Philadelphia Phillies a little too much. And as you can see – it turns into YouTube gold. Is he dead?

Imagine Maradona playing for Brazil.

It may sound like the makings of a dream team for us, but, as this advert shows, it’s a nightmare for the man himself.