In the build up to the launch of vampire drama True Blood on Channel 4, hecklerspray’s Keith Emmerson caught up with the defiantly charming and ruggedly handsome Stephen Moyer (who plays Bill Compton) to discover the man behind the vampire.

We are also reassuringly told that he could kill Robert Pattinson if he had to. If you didn’t catch the first episode on Channel 4, it’s available on 4OD – watch it.

Video after the jump!

True Blood, Wednesdays, 10pm on Channel 4. For more information, please click here.

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Here’s an important life lesson for you, boys – if you want to get rich, knock up a politician’s underage daughter.

Just look at Levi Johnston. Ever since he accidentally torpedoed Sarah Palin’s White House ambitions by getting her 17-year-old daughter pregnant, Levi Johnston has been living the jetset life of a true celebrity. A true celebrity who is famous for appearing in one commercial for a brand of pistachio nuts that nobody has ever heard of, based on a pun that doesn’t really work, and nothing else.

Levi Johnston, you’ve really hit the big time now! The video’s after the jump…

In the game of life, one person’s loss is another’s gain. Take Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston, for example. No so long ago it was Palin who had the upper hand over Levi Johnston, drafting him into a lifetime of politicking and plainly batshit stories about the world only being 6,000 years old because he accidentally got her daughter pregnant, and then casting him aside when he was no longer required. But, oh, how the tables have turned.

Because where is Sarah Palin now? She’s no longer governor of Alaska, her dreams of ever reaching high office get more and more distant each day and she’s just written a book that’s probably 65% thinner than she wanted it to be because the publisher decided not to print her crayon drawings of Jesus firing lightning bolts out of his eyes at some moose, Barack Obama and, confusingly, a sign reading ‘BIG GUVVAMUNT’, even though she specifically wanted them to illustrate most of her points.

But where is Levi Johnston now? That’s right – he’s completely outshone his almost-mother-in-law in just about every respect, in that he’s taken his shirt off for a magazine and done an advert for some bar snacks. Has Sarah Palin ever done either of those things? No. No she hasn’t. Game, set and match to Levi Johnston.

All of which is an annoyingly long precursor to Levi Johnston’s new commercial for Wonderful Pistachio Nuts. We don’t say this lightly, but in terms of adverts starring boys who are only famous for knocking up legitimate celebrities, it’s almost as good as that advert where Kevin Federline cooked a burger. Take a look…

Now we don’t know about you, but we saw a trace of a young James Dean in Levi Johnston’s commercial. Yes, we’re certain of it – if James Dean had ignored acting for a life of engaging in unprotected casual sex with the underage daughters of ambitious Alaskan politicians even though a pre-marital pregnancy would violently undermine the politician’s core beliefs, then caught a fleeting glimpse of fame because he did end up getting the politician’s daughter pregnant and was offered a role in a pistachio nut commercial, then Levi Johnston would be a dead ringer for him.

So well done, Levi Johnston. The sky’s the limit. If, obviously, your definition of ‘the sky’ is ‘possibly one more pistachio nut commercial and then a lifetime of bitter anonymity’, that is.

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There’s usually a very clear division between the two separate versions of Hugh Jackman, isn’t there?

There’s Stage Hugh Jackman and Screen Hugh Jackman. Screen Hugh Jackman is the one who’s angry, violent and prone to dropping to his knees and shouting “NOOOOO!” at the sky at the tiniest of provocations. And Stage Hugh Jackman is the flamboyant one, the one in the big silky blouses and spangly trousers and stuff.

Usually the two Hugh Jackmans never merge. But they did recently, when a phone went off during his latest play. You’ve never seen angry, slightly gay-seeming chiding like it.

Mobile phones can be a real problem in the theatre. We’ve all seen it – there you are, trying to catch up with a friend during some dreary old play that your girlfriend has made you go and see, when all of a sudden the actors stop what they’re doing and start shouting at you to put your phone away. It’s rude, that’s what it is.

It’s almost as rude as when everyone screams at you during long-haul flights just because your mobile phone signal has interfered with the plane’s navigational system and sent it into a tailspin that will inevitably end in fiery death. Honestly, the nerve of some people. Can’t they see we’re talking?

Something similar to this happened last week during a performance of the new Hugh Jackman/ Daniel Craig play A Steady Rain. One member of the audience was probably waiting for an important call from their dentist or something – and looking forward to it, too, to break up the monotony of Hugh Jackman’s big “Oh, I’m a policeman, I’ve seen some terrible things, boo hoo hoo” speech – but as soon as the phone started ringing, Hugh Jackman stopped the speech to get all snippy with them. Actors, eh? What a bunch of turds. Here’s the video…

Now we’ve been hard on Hugh Jackman before – pretty much only because he exists – but we have to hand it to him here. Because it wasn’t him who told the audience member to turn off their phone – it was his character. See the way he didn’t even break his accent or the cadence of his voice. That’s real acting.

That audience member is lucky that Hugh Jackman wasn’t playing Wolverine at the time, because the incident would have almost certainly resulted in bloodshed if that were the case. And they’re also lucky that they he wasn’t playing his character from Australia at the time, too, because nobody went to see Australia and it would have meant that the ringing sound could only be heard inside Hugh Jackman’s head, indicating that he was probably going through some kind of traumatic psychiatric meltdown or something.

We’ve forgotten what our point was. Something about Hugh Jackman being an idiot, probably.

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If you like Oasis, you’re in for a treat. And if you like the 1990s bands Heavy Stereo and Ride, you’re in for even more of a treat.

That’s because our dear friend Eleanor Conway has interviewed the half of Oasis that used to be in Heavy Stereo and Ride – Gem and Andy Bell – while they were touring in Hong Kong. And there’s a video of it. And you should probably watch it.

Why? Because only by watching it will you discover that Glastonbury is a festival full of farmers, specifically farmers that weave yogurt for a living. No, we don’t know either. Anyway, video after the jump…

Steven Tyler is proof that age ain’t nothing but a number – a fairly high number that mathematically means he’s old.

But that won’t stop him. He may be in his sixties, but Steven Tyler can still do everything that the kids do – like sing, dance, topple off the edge of a stage in the middle of an ill-advised bout of body-popping during an Aerosmith concert and get airlifted to hospital in a helicopter. Which, funnily enough, happened to him on Wednesday night in South Dakota.

Don’t worry, we have video of Steven Tyler’s hilarious (or tragic) fall after the jump.

If you ask us, this is taking the piss. Aerosmith are famously the poor man’s Rolling Stones, but there’s no need to take it to this level. Remember when Keith Richards injured his head by falling out of a coconut tree? Well, Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler has decided to rip off that moment by clattering off the edge of a stage during a concert and getting airlifted to hospital with injuries to his head, neck and shoulder. Honestly, it’s shameless.

According to reports, this is what happened – there was a power-cut in the middle of an Aerosmith concert in South Dakota on Wednesday, and to entertain the crowd while the issue was being remedied, Steven Tyler decided to keep the crowd entertained. He slipped, fell, and was airlifted to hospital ‘in good spirits’ as the concert was halted.

That’s according to reports but, according to this video, this is what happened…

You see? The reports were all lies. Steven Tyler wasn’t dancing to entertain the audience – he was simply leading everyone in a mass game of charades. Watch the video again – he’s clearly miming the 1972 arthouse film Helicopter Shhh Lionel Blair Wuh-Wuh-WAARRRGH Ouch. It’s obvious.

Anyway, this fall continues Steven Tyler’s lucky streak of creating gaps in Aerosmith’s schedule by buggering himself up. Not so long ago Tyler cut a tour short to have surgery on his throat, and then there was the time he caught hepatitis, the time he had to go to rehab, and now this.

In fact, Steven Tyler is getting so good at buggering himself up that it’ll be hard for him to keep it fresh from now on. Maybe during the next Aerosmith tour he can eat a bad oyster and vomit over the front three rows, or have a medieval knight in full armour charge onto the stage on horseback and run him through with a lance or something. He needs to think of something fast, because unfortunate body-related mishaps are swiftly becoming Steven Tyler’s USP.

However, at least Steven Tyler is showing people of his generation that they don’t have to do what society expects of them. No, they can dress up like a female drama teacher, nob around like the world’s most embarrassingly drunk dad at a wedding and spectacularly crock themselves in front of the entire world. That’s much better, isn’t it?

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Chris Brown is about to face the fight of his life – which isn’t hard because he usually just fights girls.

And they’re easy to beat. But we digress. This time, Chris Brown is fighting for his reputation. Now he’s pleaded guilty to attacking Rihanna, Chris Brown doesn’t want to be known as the violent woman-hating brute with the stupid teeth any more – he wants to be known as the wimpily generic R&B star with the stupid teeth again.

So Chris Brown has taken the sensible option – he’s begged his fans for forgiveness on YouTube. While dressed as a Chinese waiter.

Chris Brown is a little bit like the boy who cried wolf. He’s not completely like the boy who cried wolf – because in Aesop’s fable the boy didn’t beat the wolf to a quivering pulp in a Lamborghini because it looked at one of his text messages – but Chris Brown does change his story so often that it’s hard to know when he’s telling the truth.

Directly after he was arrested for bludgeoning Rihanna with his ridiculous gravestone teeth, Chris Brown apologised to everyone for it. Then he said that he only did it out of self-defence. Then he said that he didn’t do it. Then he said that he wasn’t a monster and sort of blamed the media for saying that he did it. Then he said that he did it. Short of blaming the attack on a werewolf, or suggesting that Rihanna choked herself unconscious and bit her own ear out of guilt for being such a blasted whore, Chris Brown literally tried every single angle available to him.

And now, since it’s hard to deny something that you’ve already pleaded guilty to in court, Chris Brown is trying a new angle. It’s basically the same as his first ‘apologise relentlessly’ angle, but he’s doing it in person on the internet. And, for reasons known only to himself, he’s decided to dress up like an inmate in a weird Guantanamo Bay-style terrorist holding facility that only exists in the mind of Jean-Paul Gaultier to do it. Look…

Poor Chris Brown. Damn those attorneys for not letting him speak out and apologise for all of this earlier. Damn those bloody attorneys who Chris Brown explicitly employed and paid for with his own money for the sole job of keeping him out of jail however they could. They’re keeping Chris Brown in chains. In CHAINS!

Oh we’re just kidding. It’s fairly clear that Chris Brown’s apology is sincere here – he’s doing that thing that only genuinely sincere people do, where their eyes move left and right in time with what they’re saying and sometimes they concentrate really hard as if they’re reading a statement that was prepared for them by somebody else from an autocue. They’re not reading anything from an autocue, though. They’re just being very sincere.

Now comes the big test for Chris Brown, though. Will people start buying Chris Brown’s records again because he dressed up like a flamboyant masseuse and said sorry for a couple of minutes? Let’s hope so. After all, everyone deserves a second chance in life.

Especially those who, like Chris Brown, are bound to spend an entire week desperately blubbing for forgiveness on the set of Oprah like an unbearable bloody wet-mouthed bellend unless we all immediately start buying their records again right away. We really can’t stress that enough.

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The curse of Jordan must still be lingering on inside the plastic soul of pop music gimp Peter Andre.

Once upon a time he was happily married to Jordan, who herself was just a massive attention-seeking tit. All alongside her boob balloons which kept on inflating and deflating. Christ, it was almost hypnotic.

Since their relationship ended, Peter Andre hasn’t done much TV work or spewed painful interviews about his marriage. Unlike his former wife Jordan. Or is she being called Katie Price again now? We don’t know. Or care. Anyways, Peter Andre fell off a stage at the T4 beach festival thingy. We got footage.

The T4 beach festival is a harmless gig where pop bands mime to backing tracks and perform dance routines that were thought up ten minutes before they needed to use them. Its a million miles away from anything like Glastonbury or T In The Park. No-one gets offended, no-one swears and there is no fun as a general rule. Basically, you’ll never see one of The Saturdays screech “Free Tibet.” Purely because none of the beach goers know where Tibet is.

But forget that, here’s what we all want to see. Peter Andre falling off a stage. Thank us later for the best 20 seconds you’ve seen on YouTube today:

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When people talk about Michael Jackson now, it tends to be about boring stuff like the well-being of his children.

BORING. We don’t want to think of Michael Jackson as a corpse with a complex legacy. We want to remember Michael Jackson as he was in his prime. On, say, January 27th 1984 – the day that Michael Jackson was caught in an explosion on a Pepsi commercial and suffered horrific burns to his face and scalp.

Well, thanks to a video by Us Weekly, we can all relive that harrowing moment time and time again. Thanks Us Weekly! You’re the best!

The Michael Jackson toxicology tests haven’t come back yet, so we can’t be sure of exactly how many different kinds of industrial-strength painkillers he was on. But it seems fairly certain that the man had an addiction, and the addiction is what killed him.

If we want to properly understand Michael Jackson’s painkiller dependence, however, we need to trace it back to its genesis. And that would appear to have begun directly after his 1984 Pepsi commercial, which Michael Jackson fans will remember as the moment when a set of mistimed stage explosions left Michael with second and third degree burns across his scalp and body.

That moment didn’t just mark the start of Michael Jackson’s addiction to the painkillers that would ultimately kill him, but it was also thought to be the birthing point of the plastic surgery obsession that would slowly transform Jackson into the washed-out, hollow-eyed freakshow that he sadly became in later life. So, really, the Pepsi commercial accident marked the precise moment when Michael Jackson’s life started spiralling out of control. Not to be too melodramatic, but when he was caught in that explosion, Michael Jackson began to die.

Luckily, no video has ever been released of the accident, sparing us all from the torturous experience of watching the crystallised moment when Michael Jackson’s life began to nosedive into oblivion. Wait, what’s that? Us Weekly has got a video of Michael Jackson’s accident? You mean we can really see Michael Jackson flailing around in agony with his head on fire? In slow motion? With a morally-questionable soundtrack of needlessly doomy music? AWESOME.

Here it is. Be warned, though – it’s a little bit grim, and just as tasteless…

We think we speak for everyone here when we say “euch”. Our only real regret is that we weren’t present in the Us Weekly meeting when they decided exactly when would be the appropriate time to show a video of Michael Jackson thrashing around on fire and experiencing the worst pain of his entire life. Straight after his death? No, too soon. Two months after his death? No, too late. Exactly three weeks after he died? Yes! Perfect! Bingo! This distressing video is going to make us rich! Rich!

Actually, we sort of hope that this tactic of crystallising the exact moment that led to a celebrity’s death is one that Us Weekly continues in the future. Maybe next week it’ll run an exclusive video of the first time Heath Ledger had trouble falling asleep at night or – better yet – never-before-seen footage of David Carradine walking into his first cupboard and realising that it had given him an erection.

Yes, there’d be nothing wrong with that at all.

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The saddest thing about Michael Jackson’s death wasn’t the messy custody vacuum it left for his kids.

No. And it wasn’t the way that it’s still pretty much impossible to find a radio station that doesn’t only play Michael Jackson records, although that is very sad. The saddest thing about Michael Jackson’s death is that nobody will see what he was planning for his big comeback shows.

But that ends now – we’ve got video footage of Michael Jackson’s last rehearsal right here, and if you like watching middle-aged men walking around a stage very slowly, you’re in for a treat.

Now that the main focus of Michael Jackson’s death is the gargantuan tangle that he left his personal affairs in, it’s a relief to finally be able to shift away an concentrate on something he was actually good at. No, not being sued or dressing up as a lady or being accused of wanton cruelty to giraffes, we’re talking something that Michael Jackson was really good at – performing.

This summer, close to a million people were set to watch Michael Jackson’s glorious comeback at London’s O2. Or, if you want to be realistic about it, probably about 200,000 people were set to watch Michael Jackson’s glorious comeback at London’s O2, with all the others getting refunds when Michael inevitably started cancelling entire swathes of shows for no clear reason. But none of that matters now – he’s dead, so nobody’s going to see anything now.

Except they might. Earlier this week we reported that Concert promoters AEG had taped one of Michael Jackson’s last rehearsals in HD, and was planning to sell it to fans in a heartbreaking Bullseye-style ‘here’s what you could have won’ moment that wasn’t at all about cynically cashing in.

But having read some of the accounts of Michael Jackson’s last few days, that didn’t sound entirely appealing – who’d pay to see a bald, anorexic drug addict with half a face wheeze and shuffle along to watered-down karaoke version of his best-loved songs?

Happily, though, AEG has released a 90-second video of Michael Jackson’s final rehearsal proving that Michael Jackson still had a bit of life left in his tank. Here it is…

Yes, there are a lot of fairly depressing things about the video – such as the fact that Michael Jackson’s most elaborate dance move in the sequence involved sort of marching up and down the stage with his friends, the fact that he’s miming throughout, the fact that Michael Jackson and his choreographers still appear to think that it’s 1986 and the fact that, despite his enviable back catalogue, Michael Jackson was still planning to do They Don’t Care About Us – but at least the final footage of him alive shows him doing something he excelled at, rather than being another gruesome reminder of how rubbish everything else about his life was.

But don’t worry, we’ll get back to that next week. Diana Ross, for crying out loud. What was he thinking?

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His rival John McCain was not an African American. People claim that some members of the American population would hold this against Mr Obama. Others though would embrace the change and vote for someone who didn’t bang on about a war he was involved in last millennium.

Now, this may have been deliberately kept back from his campaign, but Barack Obama has Irish roots! Granted they are ridiculously diluted with his great-great Grandfather living here, but so what! The UK now has a watered down link with him and it’s all been put in to a song that sounds like it was all improved by a man drunk on Guinness. Enjoy.

The early ’90s, eh?

Who can forget those heady days of Global Hypercolour t-shirts, Monster In My Pocket collectible figurines and Channel 4’s Red Light Zone? Jesus – who on Earth can forget Channel 4’s Red Light Zone? Certainly not anyone who was entering adolescence and had a portable TV set in their room, that’s for sure.

Why are we waffling on about the early ’90s so much? Because that’s where this here clip originates from. It’s the first in a new feature called Hecklerspray Oddities (original working title: Clips That We Quite Like But Couldn’t Really Find Any Other Way Of Linking To Them On The Site), in which we present to you a series of clips that we quite like but couldn’t really find any other way of linking to them on the site.

Enjoy, then, a young Jim Carrey partaking in a spot-on sketch show spoof of The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.