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Dubya Cleans Up DVDs

by C J Davies

President Of The United States and all-round Worldwide Chief Idiot George W. Bush (books/DVDs) has signed a bill to promote and launch technology which can filter out all the naughty bits from your DVD collection. The bill means that manufacturers of such cack – like self-righteous Utah-based moralmongers ClearPlay – are now immune from prosecution [...]

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Hell’s Kitchen Tonight – Mental Bald Fighting Mayhem

by Stuart Heritage

  Hell’s Kitchen is quickly turning into wonderful television. Despite the fact that it’s basically two blokes teaching people how to cook, the show has grown more and more ridiculous with every episode.   Hell’s Kitchen is quickly turning into wonderful television. Despite the fact that it’s basically two blokes teaching people how to cook, [...]

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British Soap Awards Frenzy! Best Actress Nominations

by Stuart Heritage

The British Soap Awards are creeping closer and closer, and it’s fair to say that hecklerspray’s excited. Actually, that’s a totally unfair thing to say. If it was the British Awards For Giant Breakdancing Robot Ninjas, we’d be excited. But we’re mostly unmoved by the prospect of seeing a bunch of smug actors applaud themselves. [...]

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Maggot Ears And Penis Bombs

by 586 MEDIA

They’re problems we’ve all had to deal with at some point. You’re unhappy with the penis-enlargement operation you’ve had, so you decide to send the surgeon a bomb in a jewellery box, but you flake out and confess to the police. Or you’ve suffered from an itchy ear for some time. So you see a [...]

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Lesbian’s Rant At Letterman

by Stuart Heritage

One of the best things on TV, in the whole world, is The Late Show With David Letterman. If you haven’t ever seen it, imagine TFI Friday. When it was really good. Only more professional. And far better presented. In another sign that the world is not perfect, America gets The Late Show five times [...]

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Jennifer Lopez: ‘I’m A Writer Now’

by C J Davies

That’s right, Jenny. You are! Well done! Just think: what would the people on the ‘block’ say? Apart from ‘oh, look, some self-obsessed lady with no discernable talent and a big fat arse is riding past in a limo’? J’Lo (CDs/DVDs) is set to scribble out a self-help book on – we jest you not [...]

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This Week’s Hit Me Baby One More Time Odds Revealed

by 586 MEDIA

The quite extraordinary Hit Me Baby One More Time rolls on to it’s fourth week tomorrow, and the big question is… which ambient thought will consume Vernon Kaye’s mind and stop him from reading the autocue properly? Just kidding. But that’ll happen, take our word for it. hecklerspray has teamed up with Betfair.com to give [...]

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Warning! Insane Nationwide Soap Star Epidemic

by C J Davies

Baffled British doctors are reporting a curious new phenomenon. Apparently ninety percent of our hardworking GPs claim to regularly see patients who are copying symptoms from their favourite TV soap stars. Quite what peculiar illnesses this bizarre fad is going to throw up in the future is a terrifying prospect. Maybe recently-revived EastEnders slaphead Grant [...]

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Russell Crowe Almost Became Scientologist

by C J Davies

Russell Crowe (DVDs/CDs) is swiftly becoming something of a hecklerspray regular fixture. His patented brand of grizzly Auzzie swearing and irrational violent outbursts is never anything less than a crowdpleaser. Especially when that crowd wants to point and laugh at him. Chuckle-glands on standby, then … because good old Russ has now revealed that he [...]

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Pocket-Sized Porn For Portable PlayStation

by C J Davies

Pornography: the driving force behind all mankind. Okay, okay … maybe not all of mankind. hecklerspray is sure that there remains some far-flung Amazonian tribe who have yet to find out Jenna Jameson is. Probably. Did you know that when the humble video recorder first emerged, there was a time that only 1% of the [...]

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