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Strictly Come Dancing Recap: Christine Bleakley & Austin Healey
It's time for another edition of the hecklerspray recap for Strictly Come Dancing or, as we like to call it, Four Exasperated Judges. Watching John Sergeant get through to next week's Strictly Come Dancing yet again was an absolute joy. Not because we particularly enjoy watching John Sergeant dance, nor because we like deliberately ruining the credibility of reality TV shows, but because watching Bruce Forsyth dodder around murmuring "We have a situation" like an anxious string puppet afterwards was perhaps the greatest thing we've ever seen. Anyway, here's our Strictly Come Dancing recap for Christine Bleakley and Austin Healey...
It's time for another edition of the hecklerspray recap for Strictly Come Dancing or, as we like to call it, Four Exasperated Judges. Watching John Sergeant get through to next week's Strictly Come Dancing yet again was an absolute joy. Not because we particularly enjoy watching John Sergeant dance, nor because we like deliberately ruining the credibility of reality TV shows, but because watching Bruce Forsyth dodder around murmuring "We have a situation" like an anxious string puppet afterwards was perhaps the greatest thing we've ever seen. Anyway, here's our Strictly Come Dancing recap for Christine Bleakley and Austin Healey...
Spencer From The Hills Thinks Gay People Rock At Doing Hair And Makeup
In the old days, MTV used to show music videos that artists made to promote their new single. But now in our modern society, MTV has changed and only offers programming that really has nothing to do with music. Well, Tim Westwood does play records we guess. One of the most popular shows is The Hills. A reality show where we get to compare our own grim lives to those of some trendy twentysomething spoilt tits. Known for being a bit dim, Spencer from the show has decided to open his gob and speak about Proposition 8, the big hot topic in California at the moment. Remember, we did say he's known for being a bit dim.
In the old days, MTV used to show music videos that artists made to promote their new single. But now in our modern society, MTV has changed and only offers programming that really has nothing to do with music. Well, Tim Westwood does play records we guess. One of the most popular shows is The Hills. A reality show where we get to compare our own grim lives to those of some trendy twentysomething spoilt tits. Known for being a bit dim, Spencer from the show has decided to open his gob and speak about Proposition 8, the big hot topic in California at the moment. Remember, we did say he's known for being a bit dim.
Strictly Come Dancing Recap: Cherie Lunghi Stumbles Off
Oh great, now we're in for another week of bitching about John Sergeant - Cherie Lunghi's out of Strictly Come Dancing. Cherie was voted out of Strictly Come Dancing because her Cha Cha Cha to Play That Funky Music was a little bit hit and miss - for the first time in ages Cherie got her legs, and therefore her knickers, out in the dance, but it was let down by the way she just lurched from one pedestrian pose to another without anything in between. And in yesterday's dance-off, the Strictly Come Dancing judges told her that they wanted to "see little bit more Wild Cherry coming out". We're pleased she didn't oblige, because we're pretty sure they meant her clitoris. But now that Cherie Lunghi is no longer a part of Strictly Come Dancing, who's going to win? Here's part one of our Strictly Come Dancing recap for the week, for Jodie Kidd and Lisa Snowdon...
Oh great, now we're in for another week of bitching about John Sergeant - Cherie Lunghi's out of Strictly Come Dancing. Cherie was voted out of Strictly Come Dancing because her Cha Cha Cha to Play That Funky Music was a little bit hit and miss - for the first time in ages Cherie got her legs, and therefore her knickers, out in the dance, but it was let down by the way she just lurched from one pedestrian pose to another without anything in between. And in yesterday's dance-off, the Strictly Come Dancing judges told her that they wanted to "see little bit more Wild Cherry coming out". We're pleased she didn't oblige, because we're pretty sure they meant her clitoris. But now that Cherie Lunghi is no longer a part of Strictly Come Dancing, who's going to win? Here's part one of our Strictly Come Dancing recap for the week, for Jodie Kidd and Lisa Snowdon...
Video: Arrested Development The Movie Is Officially “A Go”
One morning, when we were very young, our father burst into our room to tell us that overnight our mother had somehow transformed into 322 lbs (he weighed it first thing) of gold bullion, and we were all rich beyond our wildest dreams. This was good news. In college we didn't graduate, but on commencement day we did find someone else's bachelor degree lying on the floor. Once it was framed and wall-mounted, our friends said they couldn't tell there was a slight font change where our name started. This too, was good news. People have finally stopped talking about Proposition 8. Slap that right on the good news list as well. Do you know what news is better than all those combined? Its that Jeffrey Tambor has recently said that as-per a very recent telephone conversation with Mitch Hurwitz, the Arrested Development movie is "a go."
One morning, when we were very young, our father burst into our room to tell us that overnight our mother had somehow transformed into 322 lbs (he weighed it first thing) of gold bullion, and we were all rich beyond our wildest dreams. This was good news. In college we didn't graduate, but on commencement day we did find someone else's bachelor degree lying on the floor. Once it was framed and wall-mounted, our friends said they couldn't tell there was a slight font change where our name started. This too, was good news. People have finally stopped talking about Proposition 8. Slap that right on the good news list as well. Do you know what news is better than all those combined? Its that Jeffrey Tambor has recently said that as-per a very recent telephone conversation with Mitch Hurwitz, the Arrested Development movie is "a go."
Why Can’t That Pregnant Man Keep It In His Pants? WHY?
Readers, we can now die and go to heaven - we've just seen the most confusing and slightly gut-churning thing we'll ever see. It's a picture of Thomas Beatie - the famous pregnant man from a few months ago - topless, pregnant and flexing his biceps into a mirror. It's weird. It's like that scene from American Psycho where Christian Bale is gazing at his muscles in the middle of the threesome, but a few months after he's managed to get himself pregnant. Weird. Weird. Why are we telling you this? Because we saw it while reading that Thomas Beatie has got himself pregnant again. Look, we know what you're thinking - usually one child is enough for a bearded mother of nonspecific gender - but we can totally see his rationale behind getting pregnant again. Now Thomas Beatie's children will both have someone to cling onto in terror when their parents tell them how they were born.
Readers, we can now die and go to heaven - we've just seen the most confusing and slightly gut-churning thing we'll ever see. It's a picture of Thomas Beatie - the famous pregnant man from a few months ago - topless, pregnant and flexing his biceps into a mirror. It's weird. It's like that scene from American Psycho where Christian Bale is gazing at his muscles in the middle of the threesome, but a few months after he's managed to get himself pregnant. Weird. Weird. Why are we telling you this? Because we saw it while reading that Thomas Beatie has got himself pregnant again. Look, we know what you're thinking - usually one child is enough for a bearded mother of nonspecific gender - but we can totally see his rationale behind getting pregnant again. Now Thomas Beatie's children will both have someone to cling onto in terror when their parents tell them how they were born.
Anthony Edwards Returns To ER To Thank Sole Remaining Viewer
ER, the hospital show that nobody watches any more, has produced some big stars in its time - you know who we're talking about. We're talking about Mekhi Phifer, famous for his tiny bitpart in the Eminem movie 8 Mile. And Noah Wyle, who left ER and found fame as the lead in The Librarian: Quest for the Spear - the only film in history that nobody has ever even considered watching. Oh, and Anthony Edwards. But although Anthony Edwards left ER six years ago when his character died of brain cancer, the good news is that he's back! Anthony Edwards is making an impressive return to ER tonight to mark the final season of the show, in an episode we'll presume is called Why Doesn't George Clooney Return Our Calls Any More?
ER, the hospital show that nobody watches any more, has produced some big stars in its time - you know who we're talking about. We're talking about Mekhi Phifer, famous for his tiny bitpart in the Eminem movie 8 Mile. And Noah Wyle, who left ER and found fame as the lead in The Librarian: Quest for the Spear - the only film in history that nobody has ever even considered watching. Oh, and Anthony Edwards. But although Anthony Edwards left ER six years ago when his character died of brain cancer, the good news is that he's back! Anthony Edwards is making an impressive return to ER tonight to mark the final season of the show, in an episode we'll presume is called Why Doesn't George Clooney Return Our Calls Any More?
X Factor Reject Laura White Gets A Record Deal. Everything Goes Back To Normal.
In what felt like week 36 of this year's X Factor, the first semi-exciting incident occurred last Saturday night. And, amazingly, it wasn’t Dannii Minogue pulling a facial expression other than that of a rabbit before it gets squashed by a car or the camera crew not zooming in Holly Willoughby's boobies Instead it was the shock departure of Laura White, one of the favourites to win X Factor. Laura White was the fifth person to be booted off, after the public deemed her rubbisher than everyone else. Even that Daniel bloke who sounds at best like he should belong in the working men’s club circuit did better then her. Naturally, fans of the show with too much time on their hands set up Facebook campaigns to get her reinstated. This has technically worked, because now someone's given her a record deal.
In what felt like week 36 of this year's X Factor, the first semi-exciting incident occurred last Saturday night. And, amazingly, it wasn’t Dannii Minogue pulling a facial expression other than that of a rabbit before it gets squashed by a car or the camera crew not zooming in Holly Willoughby's boobies Instead it was the shock departure of Laura White, one of the favourites to win X Factor. Laura White was the fifth person to be booted off, after the public deemed her rubbisher than everyone else. Even that Daniel bloke who sounds at best like he should belong in the working men’s club circuit did better then her. Naturally, fans of the show with too much time on their hands set up Facebook campaigns to get her reinstated. This has technically worked, because now someone's given her a record deal.
Strictly Come Dancing Recap: John Sergeant & Lisa Snowdon
It's the final day of our Strictly Come Dancing recaps for the week. And that means, in all honesty, it's probably the final time we'll get to write about John Sergeant as a properly-functioning contestant on Strictly Come Dancing. As the judges proved last week, they're willing to get as nasty as possible if it gets him out, and it looks like they might be swaying public opinion, too. You don't want them to win, do you? At least one of them has a face like a wet verruca. Vote John. And, funnily enough, here are the Strictly Come Dancing recaps for John Sergeant and Lisa Snowdon...
It's the final day of our Strictly Come Dancing recaps for the week. And that means, in all honesty, it's probably the final time we'll get to write about John Sergeant as a properly-functioning contestant on Strictly Come Dancing. As the judges proved last week, they're willing to get as nasty as possible if it gets him out, and it looks like they might be swaying public opinion, too. You don't want them to win, do you? At least one of them has a face like a wet verruca. Vote John. And, funnily enough, here are the Strictly Come Dancing recaps for John Sergeant and Lisa Snowdon...
