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Hecklerspray Presents: The Greatest TV Trailer Ever

by C J Davies

Abominable third-rate mindless drivel? Absolutely. But don’t pretend you won’t be watching when it ends up on T4.

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It’s The X Factor Final Countdown! Alexandra Burke

by Matthew Laidlow

“Howay man pet, vote for my Alex she’s got a geet canny voice and she should definitely win. If you vote for her, I’ll buy you a stottie”.

The words of Alexandra Burke’s X Factor mentor Cheryl Cole, there. Even if you don’t like Alexandra, at least vote for her anyway as it’ll make Cheryl win and hopefully force Dannii Minogue off the show in some sort of girly rage.

Tomorrow is the grand finale of X Factor 2008. Who knows what we’ll get in 2009. Maybe robots will be allowed to enter the competition. Until that happens, we’ll have to contend with this year’s winner. With JLS and Eoghan Quigg already dealt with, let’s have a look at Alexandra Burke…

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It’s The X Factor Final Countdown! Eoghan Quigg

by Matthew Laidlow

Not long now kids. Soon you’ll be able to smash down the door of your local record shop to buy the sound of the X Factor winner destroying Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah.

So who will be the next person to launch a singing career that will make some industry types richer? We’ve already had a look at how JLS will fare, but today we take a look at one of the more colourful characters of the show.

Here’s the X Factor recap for Eoghan Quigg.

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Jay Leno Bangs On About His Confusing New Show

by Stuart Heritage

If you’re a fan of smug, unfunny comedy but you go to bed quite early, Jay Leno’s new 10pm NBC show must feel like a godsend.

A whole hour of Jay Leno telling reheated 12-year-old Bill Clinton jokes at a time that even allows the elderly to be somewhat nonplussed by it? Brilliant! But what’s the show going to be like?

Well, according to Jay Leno himself, it’ll be just like his old show but with more ‘stunts’. And stunt number one? Seeing how quickly he can send Conan O’Brien into the depths of gibbering impotent psychosis. We imagine.

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Strictly Come Dancing Recap: Rachel Stevens

by Stuart Heritage

It’s time for the last Strictly Come Dancing recap before Saturday’s exciting semi-final. Well, Saturday’s semi-final.

Oh, who are we kidding, of course the Strictly Come Dancing semi-final is going to be exciting. There’ll be thrills, there’ll be spills and – now that Austin Healey isn’t part of the show any more – there won’t be any little midgets screaming “OLE!” all the time. That qualifies as exciting, right? Yes?

Here’s the Strictly Come Dancing recap for Rachel Stevens…

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It’s The X Factor Final Countdown! JLS

by Matthew Laidlow

Unlike Strictly Come Dancing, which features vaguely famous people from years gone by, X Factor always introduces us to annoying singing types who’ll no doubt plague us for months until they retreat to a Butlins holiday camp.

It’s the X Factor final on Saturday and even though everyone knows that the carbon copy of Leona Lewis will win, we thought we’d just recap it for you anyway. You know, just in case everyone is proved wrong by the funny named weeping leprechaun who’ll flood the studio if he wins.

Here’s the X Factor profile for JLS.

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TR Knight Runs Away From Grey’s Anatomy Forever

by Stuart Heritage

As everybody knows, although onscreen Grey’s Anatomy can be almost fatally tedious, off-screen Grey’s Anatomy is brilliant.

You want a comparison? OK. Onscreen, the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy revolved around a bunch of doctors wondering who’d be asked to perform some surgery on a patient. For approximately the billionth time.

But off-screen? Off-screen the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy revolved around dollop-faced actor TR Knight throwing the mother of all strops and walking off the show because nobody’s giving him the attention that he obviously deserves. See – which one would you watch? Oh, neither? Actually, us too.

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Strictly Come Dancing Recap: Tom Chambers

by Stuart Heritage

Strictly Come Dancing recap time! You’ll miss these when they’re gone, you know. Or you won’t. No skin off our nose.

So let’s reflect on the series so far. We’ve had new professional dancers, in the shape of Kristina and that sleazy-looking American bloke. We’ve had the biggest scandal of Strictly Come Dancing history with John Sergeant’s resignation and, in “I am not doddery, doddery I am not,” we’ve reached the part of Bruce Forsyth’s career where he discovers irony. We give it seven out of ten.

Anyway, here’s the Strictly Come Dancing recap for Tom Chambers…

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What’s Jay Leno’s New Show? Why, It’s Jay Leno’s Old Show

by Stuart Heritage

In May, Jay Leno was due to retire from TV and spend his days droning witlessly about cars and getting chin massages.

But that was never actually going to be the case. There’s such a dearth of middle-aged male millionaires who aren’t as funny as they think they are on TV right now that Jay Leno was never going to stay retired for long.

And now we know what Jay Leno’s next show will be – it’s his old show, basically – on the same network, in the same studio and broadcast 90 minutes earlier so even more people can get contaminated by watch it.

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Strictly Come Dancing Recap: Lisa Snowdon

by Stuart Heritage

Strictly Come Dancing recap time, which makes a change – usually at this time of the morning we’re… oh. Not a change at all, actually.

There are just three dancers left on Strictly Come Dancing, and it’s impossible to guess who’ll win at the moment. Unless you guess that Rachel Stevens is going to win, and then you’ve probably guessed correctly. But anyway, shh.

Here’s the Strictly Come Dancing recap for Lisa Snowdon…

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