TV Reviews / Previews
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Yesterday we started to look at the bettings odds for the Best Supporting Actress Oscar nominees. But the girls we featured yesterday had better spend time practising their disappointed faces.
Because, as far as the betting odds are concerned, yesterday's actresses - Frances McDormand, Catherine Keener and Amy Adams - are simply there to make up the numbers; it'll be one of the actresses we'll look at today who'll win the Best Supporting Actress Oscar. Probably. You'd better make sure you place a juicy great bet on the outcome of these - without the prospect of winning money, you'll see the Oscars for what they are; a stream of people telling each other how important it is to put a cowboy hat on and kiss Heath Ledger with tongues.
So here are the Best Supporting Actress Oscar betting odds for Michelle Williams and Rachel Weisz, with help from SportingOdds.com...
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The Oscars are rapidly approaching, and we're excited. Not because we want to see what dresses the actresses will turn up in - we're not weird - but because we want to bet on the outcomes.
Last week we looked at the Oscars betting odds of the Best Supporting Actor category, and found out that this year the academy likes mental mob bosses, boxing managers, racist policemen, fat men with beards and the obligatory gay cowboys. But what about the Best Supporting Actress Oscar? Who'll win that?
We'll start today with the first part of our Best Supporting Actress Oscar betting odds coverage, by looking at the odds of Frances McDormand, Catherine Keener and Amy Adams. Oscars betting odds come with help from SportingOdds.com...
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There are literally 11 months left until the winner of the Sports Personality Of The Year 2006 is announced. You can't wait, can you? We sure as hell can't, and that's what these betting odds are for.
Because, literally, what use is the Sports Personality Of The Year if you can't bet on the results? Is it your idea of fun to watch a roomful of under-educated monkeys sitting awkwardly in a studio for two hours? Because it's not ours. Of course, there's the hope that Sue Barker will tell another off-colour joke about having sex with Charlotte Church, but that's no guarantee of that. So betting it is.
So here are another batch of Sports Personality Of The Year betting odds - for Audley Harrison, Ronnie O'Sullivan and Freddie Flintoff with help from SportingOdds.com...
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Yesterday we started our weekly look at the slippy-slidey betting odds of the Dancing On Ice contestants - but only the rubbish ones. Today we'll look at the ones that actually stand a chance of winning.
So far on Dancing On Ice, we've seen wobbles, frantic air-grabs, the odd falling-over, two cases of a woman smashing her noggin on the ice and - last week - a super-violent piledriver that The Machoman Randy Savage would be proud to call his own. But it's with a heavy heart that we announce that nobody has lost a finger yet. So we may as well do the next best thing and place a few Dancing On Ice bets.
Here's part two of out Dancing On Ice betting odds, with help from SportingOdds.com...
Head shot. The man's name is Jonah Falcon. There's no denying that Jonah is blessed with a beautiful name. But - sweet shitting crikey - it's his behemoth phallus that grabs the plaudits. A farmer apparently told him he was "built like a mule." Welcome to The World's Biggest Penis, shown last night on Channel Four. Fact fans will be interested to note that your average penis is six inches long when, ahem, full of blood. Jonah's is 13-and-a-half inches. Nearly double. It's no joke to imagine being clubbed to death by it. There are smaller salmon. Obviously, a man with a massive thing like that isn't going to be shy about it (who wouldn't be?), and when it is unleashed on camera... well, it's enough to scare a police horse. Probably make it quite jealous too. It's so long that Jonah can wrap it around his hand a couple of times. This just isn't right. He could do back-stroke and - no doubt - there would be a few Cock Ness Monster gags flying about. You see, Jonah has the World's Biggest Penis. Sure enough, he's made his money from it (although not in skin flicks) and subsequently, craves the attention that it has obviously brought from both men and women alike.
Let’s be honest here. Extraordinary Breastfeeding is one of those titles that demands the attention of your eyeballs when you are scanning the TV listings. This programme will surely appal the very piss right out of your very frightened puny groin. Channel Four, mission accomplished once again.
Before viewing, whilst half-watching the BBC’s insane How Safe Is Your House? – where Auntie Beeb has set up some bizarre Marie Celeste’d houses and… well… blew ‘em to pieces – we could barely concentrate. We were already dreaming about breast. Well, lactating ones, at least. That are extraordinary.
Will Extraordinary Breastfeeding have infant monkeys being fed at the nipple of a 70-year-old lady?! Better still, will it include a hoard of dwarfs suckling at a panting Labrador? Or - YES! IT WILL INCLUDE WOLF BOY! WOLF BOY BEING FED AT THE BREAST OF WOLF LADY!!!
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Who'd have thought that watching half-remembered micro-celebrities dick around on an ice rink could be as mindblowingly entertaining as Dancing On Ice is, even without Andrea McLean.
Sadly, Andrea - a woman who may as well had the words 'Eye Candy' scrawled across her head by Phillip Schofield - didn't cut the Dancing On Ice mustard, and she was eliminated. But with seven Dancing On Ice contestants left in the running - who'll win?
Luckily for you ice-fans, we've got all the latest Dancing On Ice betting odds right here, and we'll take a look at the first half of them today, with help from SportingOdds.com...
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Our look at the betting odds of this years Oscar nominees continues today with the conclusion of the Best Supporting Actor nominees - one of this year's most hotly-contested categories.
Yesterday we looked at the betting odds of Oscar hopefuls William Hurt, Jake Gyllenhaal and Matt Dillon. All great, we're sure, but all outsiders. This year, the Best Supporting Actor Oscar looks like it'll be a two-horse race. Today we'll be looking at both of those horses, and remember that horses are only good for betting on. Or eating, if you're French. Not that we're suggesting that you try and eat George Clooney or anything. That would be wrong.
So here are the Best Supporting Actor Oscar betting odds for Paul Giamatti and George Clooney, with help from SportingOdds.com...
