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TV Reviews / Previews

Young Apprentice Review: Posh Harry Goes After Girls

by Jacki Evans

The stench of Lynx. The smell that strips paint off walls and causes everyone’s eyes to water. It’s only ever been found to have one use, and that’s letting you know that a teenage boy is on his way. Clearly though, it’s a market Lord Sugar wants to get in on, because this week he [...]

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Strictly Come Dancing: Russell Grant’s Cannon Takes Over

by Jacki Evans

Ah, Wembley Arena. That great big, soulless, cavernous hole in the suburbs of London. Nowhere’s better at sucking all joy out of an event. And this week, it got to consume all atmosphere from a Very Special Strictly Come Dancing. Yes, this week Strictly decamped to an overhyped aircraft hanger in aid of Children in [...]

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X Factor Review, Week 14: IT’S 4 YEAR OLD ULTIMATELY UNAVOIDABLE GUMMO JOKES WEEK

by Sophie Hall

Alright guys. First thing’s first. Here’s a paragraph about maths, and the fun that maths brings. It’s Week 14 of The X Factor now, and basically that’s quite an astonishing amount of wasted time. But the big BIG question is: Just how much astonishing amount of wasted time?  WELL FRIENDS, by the hands of Pythagorean law, [...]

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Young Apprentice Review: Lewis Misses the Point

by Jacki Evans

Just before last night’s Young Apprentice started, the BBC’s voice-over man promised us that it was like the Generation Game. He lied. It was absolutely nothing like the Generation Game. There were no cuddly toys, and no poor attempts at pottery, and definitely no Bruce Forsyth. It turned out that he just meant that the [...]

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X Factor Week 13 Review: Radio Argh! That Really Stings!

by Sophie Hall

trav·es·ty [trav-uh-stee] noun 1. A literary or artistic burlesque of a serious work or subject,characterized by grotesque or ludicrous incongruity of style, treatment, or subject matter. Remember that. trav·es·ty [trav-uh-stee] noun 1. A literary or artistic burlesque of a serious work or subject,characterized by grotesque or ludicrous incongruity of style, treatment, or subject matter. Remember that.

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Strictly Come Dancing: Everyone Hates Audley

by Jacki Evans

Next week’s Strictly is going to be really exciting. Not this week, next week. Next week they’re all going to Wembley Arena, where they’ll have the chance to fall over in front of a live audience of 6,000 people. Next week. Not this week. This week was just the boring week where Len was back [...]

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Young Apprentice Review: Young Love is Disgusting

by Jacki Evans

Young Apprentice. It’s a bit mean, isn’t it? Taking a bunch of kids away from their parents, turning them against each other, mocking them on national TV and then killing them off one by one. If hecklerspray had a heart, it’d break. But we don’t, so we just find it entertaining. But last night, it [...]

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Eastenders Spoilers! Dying! Leaving! Returning!

by Joanna Bolouri

It’s spoiler time again people, which will either ruin your week and send you into a murderous rage or you’ll thank us very sweetly like the hideous Munchkins that you are. Either is fine with us. This week, there’s so much going on in Eastenders that we’ve decided to say “BALLS!” to the other soaps [...]

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Strictly Come Dancing: Lulu Has a Breakdown

by Jacki Evans

This week on Strictly, somebody cocked up and let Len go on holiday in the middle of the series. So, to replace him, they brought in the star of one of the biggest dancing movies of all time. No, it, wasn’t the reanimated corpse of Patrick Swayze but rather, Jennifer Grey and her unrecognizable face! [...]

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X Factor Review Week 12: Review Disco Bullous Impetigo

by Sophie Hall

Have a nice time at the fireworks, did you? Ate a potato and wrote the F word with a sparkler, did we? Well – that’s quite enough satire for one day, guys. It’s a double elimination on the X Factor, and in a few weeks we’re going to have a professional musician on our hands, [...]

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