TV Reviews / Previews
True Blood: Season One DVD Review
What is it about the Deep South of America that scares the crap out of me? If ever I was to rank all the places in the world according to where I would like to go before I die, it would probably appear below warzones Afghanistan and Burma. It’s still above France though. It’s ridiculous, I know, but I’m British. My only knowledge of the area comes from appalling horror movies and one heavily-edited episode of Top Gear. But there is something about the place which really freaks me out.
What is it about the Deep South of America that scares the crap out of me? If ever I was to rank all the places in the world according to where I would like to go before I die, it would probably appear below warzones Afghanistan and Burma. It’s still above France though. It’s ridiculous, I know, but I’m British. My only knowledge of the area comes from appalling horror movies and one heavily-edited episode of Top Gear. But there is something about the place which really freaks me out.
Dancing With The Stars Ejects Natalie Coughlin, Whoever She Is
Oh Natalie Coughlin, we hardly knew you. No, literally, we're still not completely sure who you are. And now you're gone. Last night Natalie Coughlin became the latest celebrity to be voted off Dancing With The Stars, after a nail-biting dance-off with Aaron Carter. So in many ways she's lucky that she only went home, because we've always been of the understanding that anybody who is worse than Aaron Carter at anything at all should be smacked on the head and thrown to the lions. In other Dancing With The Stars news, Kelly Osbourne hasn't been eliminated yet. We know! Weird!
Oh Natalie Coughlin, we hardly knew you. No, literally, we're still not completely sure who you are. And now you're gone. Last night Natalie Coughlin became the latest celebrity to be voted off Dancing With The Stars, after a nail-biting dance-off with Aaron Carter. So in many ways she's lucky that she only went home, because we've always been of the understanding that anybody who is worse than Aaron Carter at anything at all should be smacked on the head and thrown to the lions. In other Dancing With The Stars news, Kelly Osbourne hasn't been eliminated yet. We know! Weird!
X Factor Recap: Oh Dear, That’s Ricky Loney Done For
Last night Ricky Loney was eliminated from X Factor. Hopefully you didn't form a close attachment to him. Oh, of course you didn't - he was arse-awful. But aside from that gigantic inevitability, what else happened on X Factor this weekend? Well, Whitney Houston was the guest mentor, so the theme was obviously Diva Night. We heard it was going to be Ludicrous Former Crack-Addict Hasbeens Who Need Weird-Haired Frank Butcher Lookalike Sidekicks To Keep Them Upright, but that was found to be slightly too niche. Anyway, how did the X Factor contestants do this weekend? Time for that recap you've all been waiting for...
Last night Ricky Loney was eliminated from X Factor. Hopefully you didn't form a close attachment to him. Oh, of course you didn't - he was arse-awful. But aside from that gigantic inevitability, what else happened on X Factor this weekend? Well, Whitney Houston was the guest mentor, so the theme was obviously Diva Night. We heard it was going to be Ludicrous Former Crack-Addict Hasbeens Who Need Weird-Haired Frank Butcher Lookalike Sidekicks To Keep Them Upright, but that was found to be slightly too niche. Anyway, how did the X Factor contestants do this weekend? Time for that recap you've all been waiting for...
Dancing With The Stars Loses Chuck Liddell, World Somehow Gets Over It
Dancing With The Stars is obviously getting tougher - it can afford to lose Chuck Liddell this early. Chuck Liddell was ace. Don't believe us? Fine, show us a better Dancing With The Stars contestant who rolls around inside a cage in his pants for a living and whose surname sounds a little bit like the name of a German discount supermarket. What's that? You can't? We rest our case. Still, it doesn't matter. Chuck Liddell has been eliminated from Dancing With The Stars anyway. It's bittersweet news - it's sad because Chuck Liddell had so much potential, but at least Dancing With The Stars is one week closer to ending now.
Dancing With The Stars is obviously getting tougher - it can afford to lose Chuck Liddell this early. Chuck Liddell was ace. Don't believe us? Fine, show us a better Dancing With The Stars contestant who rolls around inside a cage in his pants for a living and whose surname sounds a little bit like the name of a German discount supermarket. What's that? You can't? We rest our case. Still, it doesn't matter. Chuck Liddell has been eliminated from Dancing With The Stars anyway. It's bittersweet news - it's sad because Chuck Liddell had so much potential, but at least Dancing With The Stars is one week closer to ending now.
X Factor Recap: That’s Kandy Rain Gone, Then
Good news - the X Factor live finals are back! Better news - Kandy Rain were kicked off. Jesus on a stick, they were crap. But, hey, at least X Factor is back, and keeping current, too - one week after the Strictly Come Dancing racism row, Dannii Minogue decided to kick off an X Factor homophobia row of her own. We can’t wait for Dancing On Ice to return now because, if the pattern holds, Philip Schofield might just say something horrifying about Albanians. But anyway, how did the X Factor contestants do? Let’s have a wonderful recap, shall we?
Good news - the X Factor live finals are back! Better news - Kandy Rain were kicked off. Jesus on a stick, they were crap. But, hey, at least X Factor is back, and keeping current, too - one week after the Strictly Come Dancing racism row, Dannii Minogue decided to kick off an X Factor homophobia row of her own. We can’t wait for Dancing On Ice to return now because, if the pattern holds, Philip Schofield might just say something horrifying about Albanians. But anyway, how did the X Factor contestants do? Let’s have a wonderful recap, shall we?
Dancing With The Stars: Everyone’s Out, More Or Less
Celebrities leave Dancing With The Stars for many reasons - because they're injured, because they're crap dancers. And then there's Tom DeLay. Tom DeLay is both. However, on last night's Dancing With The Stars Tom DeLay was offed by injury, probably right before he could be offed by the fact that he dances like a peculiarly asthmatic sack that's been filled with a bunch of lethargic kittens. But Tom DeLay wasn't the only celebrity to leave Dancing With The Stars last night. Debi Mazar was also eliminated, and once we've looked up her name on Wikipedia we'll tell you exactly who she is.
Celebrities leave Dancing With The Stars for many reasons - because they're injured, because they're crap dancers. And then there's Tom DeLay. Tom DeLay is both. However, on last night's Dancing With The Stars Tom DeLay was offed by injury, probably right before he could be offed by the fact that he dances like a peculiarly asthmatic sack that's been filled with a bunch of lethargic kittens. But Tom DeLay wasn't the only celebrity to leave Dancing With The Stars last night. Debi Mazar was also eliminated, and once we've looked up her name on Wikipedia we'll tell you exactly who she is.
X Factor: Here’s Your Final 12, Then. Woo.
Well, there it is - the 12 X Factor 2009 finalists have been revealed. This is what you’re stuck with until Christmas, folks. Over the course of three bone-crushingly tedious hours on Saturday and Sunday night, half of the remaining 24 X Factor hopefuls were dispatched. We lost some real contenders along the way - like Daniel Pearce and Nicole Lawrence - but we also lost that crying opera boy too, so it’s not all bad. So allow us to introduce you to the 12 finalists of X Factor 2009. One of them is going to win, you know. We’re all done for...
Well, there it is - the 12 X Factor 2009 finalists have been revealed. This is what you’re stuck with until Christmas, folks. Over the course of three bone-crushingly tedious hours on Saturday and Sunday night, half of the remaining 24 X Factor hopefuls were dispatched. We lost some real contenders along the way - like Daniel Pearce and Nicole Lawrence - but we also lost that crying opera boy too, so it’s not all bad. So allow us to introduce you to the 12 finalists of X Factor 2009. One of them is going to win, you know. We’re all done for...
TV Review: Dating In The Dark, Living
Do you have one of those face things? You do? Bit of a mess, is it? Like an angry bollock with all weird bits of hair and spots and stuff? Bet you've got a lovely personality though. Bit of a charmer, a wit, could have all the ladies in the world if it wasn't for the unfortunate looking hatstand on your shoulders. What you need is Dating in the Dark, a Living TV extravaganza, where the rules would only need explaining if you were a total idiot. So listen up. Three boys, three girls all say hello to each other in the dark. They then each choose someone to go on a 'date' with. In the dark.
Do you have one of those face things? You do? Bit of a mess, is it? Like an angry bollock with all weird bits of hair and spots and stuff? Bet you've got a lovely personality though. Bit of a charmer, a wit, could have all the ladies in the world if it wasn't for the unfortunate looking hatstand on your shoulders. What you need is Dating in the Dark, a Living TV extravaganza, where the rules would only need explaining if you were a total idiot. So listen up. Three boys, three girls all say hello to each other in the dark. They then each choose someone to go on a 'date' with. In the dark.
