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TV Reviews / Previews

Dancing On Ice Review: It’s All About The Sexual Assault

by Jacki Evans

This week’s Dancing on Ice was apparently Movie Week. Really, it was just dodgier outfits than usual, a few rubbish puns and some nicely manufactured drama. There were injuries! There were dangerous lifts! And there was Heidi Sugababe’s golden vadge! Her terrifying, terrifying golden ladybits. Before old Bigface Sugababe assaulted our eyes with her genitals [...]

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WATCH THIS! The Weekend TV Picks Just For Stupid You!

by Robin Darke

Life is hard for many people for much of the time. But we all deal with it in different ways. Some people take solace in religion; placing their happiness in never seeing a ghost. They’d rather have a piece of toast and watch the evening news. Those people are idiots and mediocre ’90s pop stars. [...]

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Sherlock Gets Third Series And Here’s A Massive Spoiler To Tell You What Happens

by Mof Gimmers

You geeks are more than aware that Sherlock Holmes fell to his death in the closer of series two of the stupid BBC adaptation that stars Martin Freeman playing Tim From The Office Again and Benedict Cumberbatch as quirky Sherlock Doctor Who Holmes. And there’s going to be a third series. Right? And of course, [...]

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Soap Spoilers! Pill Pushing! Stair Pushing! Fish Murdering!

by Joanna Bolouri

CHRIST ON A BIKE, it’s been a whole week since we’ve been here! Can you believe it?!! That was rhetorical. Shut up. Now that Pat has been airlifted out of this world to the tune of Sweet Caroline, it’s time to get back to the real world, and by real world we mean an entirely fictitious one, created [...]

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Review: Dancing on Ice – It’s Not a Competition (But Who’s Winning?)

by Jacki Evans

Head Judges. Every reality show has one, even the ones where they can’t quite work out who the head judge is (yes, we’re looking at you, X Factor). And on Dancing on Ice, that privilege lies with Robin Cousins. Unfortunately for everyone else though, it seems the producers forgot to explain the show to him. [...]

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WATCH THIS! Deciding What You Berks Should Watch On TV This Weekend

by Robin Darke

It’s not every day that someone will dedicate literally minutes of their time watching upcoming things on TV to tell you whether what they’ve watched is good, not so good, or the equivalent of getting your toes stapled and then having aforementioned staples removed by the blind nuns that secretly made Kate Middleton’s wedding dress [...]

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Something For The Weekend Might Be Given An Extra Life When It Really Needs A Lethal Injection

by Robin Darke

Death is a certainty. It’s one of those things that you can’t escape from, like Witch Mountain. Or Monkey Island. Eventually, just like the rhythm, it’s going to get you. Don’t fight the inevitable readers – roll over and take out as many people as you can. It’s what Guy Fawkes would have wanted. Sometimes [...]

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Soap Spoilers! Funerals! Imposters! Sweet Caroline!

by Joanna Bolouri

Hello soap fans!! Missed us? No, we didn’t give you a second thought either but now that we’ve just about recovered from Pat’s quick, yet annoyingly drawn out death, we’re back to spoil everything for you and tell you what’s going to happen this week. But first here’s a little catch up. Did we mention that [...]

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Dancing on Ice Review: Too Many Andys

by Jacki Evans

Dancing on Ice. It’s always been the runty sibling of the celeb reality shows, hasn’t it? Relegated to Sunday nights in January when anyone with any sense is in the pub breaking every single resolution all at once. They may be missing a show that clearly has the best premise of any show ever broadcast [...]

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Five Things We’ve Learnt From New Girl

by Robin Darke

So. Zooey Deschanel has a new show that is being shown on Channel 4 this very night at 8:30 post meridian. Of course, we’ve seen it and it won’t surprise you that we are characteristically unimpressed. That said, looking on the bright side of any situation, like we uncharacteristically do, we’ve managed to find five [...]

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