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More Grey’s Anatomy Fun: Now One Of Them Is Gay

by Stuart Heritage

Grey’s Anatomy is one of those shows, like Desperate Housewives, that we don’t have to watch because 1) Every squawking idiot we meet seems determined to tell us exactly what happened and 2) it looks like a sack of balls.

Oh yeah, and 3) Nothing that happens on Grey’s Anatomy is even a tenth as interesting as things that go on behind the scenes of Grey’s Anatomy. Lately there’s already been a Grey’s Anatomy Battle Royale, where two Grey’s Anatomy actors decided to pummel each other into a gooey mush – or something – and now another Grey’s Anatomy actor has decided to come out and announce that he’s gay. Actor T.R Knight, who plays Dr George O’Malley on the show, gave a statement confirming his homosexuality to People magazine. Now, we haven’t got the foggiest who T.R Knight, but it’s probably safe to assume that being gay is the most interesting part of him.

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Strictly Come Dancing Betting Odds: Mica Out, Who’ll Win?

by Stuart Heritage

The first Strictly Come Dancing ladies night took place on Saturday and it more or less confirmed what everyone who remembers the late 1980s knew only too well; that Mica Paris can’t dance for toffee.

One of the Strictly Come Dancing girls had to go in the first week and unfortunately it was Mica Paris who bit the dust first, although at least she has her day job of telling ugly people that they wear shit clothes to fall back on. Incidentally, did anyone see Bruce Forsyth talk about Strictly Come Dancing on the Paul O’Grady show the other day? Bruce innocuously enough called Spoony “a dark horse,” and then – worried that it might him seem racist – launched into the weirdest backtrack we’ve ever seen, ending with him exasperatedly sighing “You’re not allowed to call them that these days, are you?” We were watching it unfold with one hand over our eyes and the other in our mouth, and it’s now become our favourite Bruce Forsyth TV moment ever, just nudging Bruce’s unveiling of ‘trapping’ – a carcrash mix of tapdance and rapping – into second place.

But enough of that, who’s going to win Strictly Come Dancing this year? Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Georgina Bouzova, Jan Ravens and Claire King, with help from PaddyPower.com…

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Leonardo DiCaprio Busts Out Green Reality TV Show

by Stuart Heritage

Reality TV is probably the best form of TV ever invented. If you want to watch wealthy men with bizarre haircuts hurl abuse at hateful ladder-climbers or British chefs get so angry that they soil themselves, then reality TV is it.

And now the news that Leonardo DiCaprio is getting in on the reality TV act has got us all excited too. Will the show follow Leonardo DiCaprio systematically shattering the dreams of aspiring actors with imaginative fury, or maybe it’ll be a Simple Life-style show following Leonardo DiCaprio messing up a variety of undercover police jobs? No. In fact Leonardo DiCaprio’s new reality TV show will be called E-topia. And Leonardo DiCaprio won’t be in it. And it’ll be about the environment. So we’re a bit less excited than we were at the start of the paragraph.

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Bindi Irwin To Star In Animal Show With Her Dead Dad

by Stuart Heritage

When Steve Irwin was killed by a stingray last month, he left a giant hole that we thought would remain empty forever – a hole that only a nutbag running round the outback grabbing poisonous snakes and waggling them around could fill.

However, just six weeks after Steve Irwin’s death and that hole has already been plugged – by Steve Irwin’s eight-year-old daughter Bindi Irwin. It’s been reported that Bindi Irwin has signed up to star in Bindi, The Jungle Girl, a 26-part series for the Discovery Kids network. And don’t worry if you think that an eight-year-old child won’t be able to hold together a high-profile documentary show like Bindi, The Jungle Girl – Bindi Irwin’s co-star in the series is none other than her father Steve Irwin… from beyond the grave.

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Gordon Ramsay Gets Voted Scariest Celebrity

by Stuart Heritage

It’s a little-known fact that the dictionary definition of the word ‘scary’ reads ‘a craggy faced man who screams at people day and night even though he’s basically a jumped-up dinner lady,’ which fits Gordon Ramsay nicely.

And it’s just as well, too, because Gordon Ramsay has been voted as the scariest celebrity in the country by the Radio Times. As far as we know, Gordon Ramsay got the nod as the scariest celebrity because all he ever seems to do is bellow at people who aren’t chefs because they can’t cook chicken as well as he can, and not for the way his face looks like a testicle that’s been left in some bathwater for a week, or the way that he flirts with Martine McCutcheon at any opportunity he gets, even though that’s by far the scariest thing Gordon Ramsay has ever done.

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Gareth Gates: The Genuine, Horrifying Comeback

by Stuart Heritage

Remember Gareth Gates? Sure you do – as well as being the runner-up in the first series of Pop Idol, Gareth Gates was also the subject of the joke about the boy who went to a shop for a Mars Bar and came out an hour later with 50 packs of M&Ms.

Most of us had happily filed Gareth Gates away with Bubble from Big Brother, the woman who had sex in a tree from Survivor and that constantly furious man from the first series of The Apprentice in a drawer marked ‘reality show hasbeens’. But no! It takes more than not selling any copies of a ridiculously over-ambitious second (double) album, lurid stories about personal lives and generally being seen by everyone as a bit of a nobsack to kill Gareth Gates – as the new Gareth Gates documentary series is hoping to prove.

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David Bowie Does SpongeBob SquarePants

by Stuart Heritage

He’s a big soft slab of pudgy yellow stuff with crazy eyes who often gets into trouble for his bad memory and his inability to get dressed properly – but that’s enough about David Bowie (we crack ourselves up sometimes).

David Bowie, the man who probably casts the biggest shadow over the modern music scene and whose constant genre-pushing musical explorations across the decades have made him into a genuine legend, has finally hit the bigtime – he’s been signed up to do the voice of a character called Lord Royal Highness on an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants. Maybe now David Bowie will be able to give up this whole music thing and get to do what he really loves full-time: doing funny underwater voices and getting paid for it.

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Grey’s Anatomy Actor-Fight! Bundle!

by Stuart Heritage

If there was an award for Best Medical Drama That We’ve Never Managed To Watch An Entire Episode Of But That Stars The Asian Woman From Sideways then Grey’s Anatomy would totally frigging walk it.

Equally, we’re fairly certain that Grey’s Anatomy would win the Show Where Two Of The Actors Halt Production Because They’re Too Busy Punching The Shit Out Of Each Other award. Because reports are suggesting that’s exactly what happened between Grey’s Anatomy stars Isaiah Washington and Patrick Dempsey on Monday. Now, if only the makers of Grey’s Anatomy could somehow make their show a tenth as exciting as this news is, perhaps we’d be able to sit through a whole episode.

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Mel Gibson Yaks About Stupid Drunk Jew-Slagging Ramblings

by Stuart Heritage

Sometimes rambling can be a good thing. Other times, like when you’ve been arrested for drink-driving and you feel like discussing everything from the ownership of Malibu to how Jews ruin everything to girls with sugar tits, not so much.

Most people, had they been in a similar situation – and then seen that situation get blown up into one of the biggest stories of the year – would become a recluse living off the What Women Want money, but not Mel Gibson. Mel Gibson has a confusing-looking dead language-scripted movie coming out soon – and that means Mel Gibson has to go on TV, apologise relentlessly for his stupid drunk rambling, declare that he’s not a monster and try to explain the difficult technicalities of trying to pack loose toothpaste into small containers to Diane Sawyer.

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Must-Watch TV: Sharon Osbourne Tonight – Drunk

by 586 MEDIA

Raise your glasses ‘cos the bitch is back.

You can’t keep a good hellraiser down. According to reports, Sharon Osbourne turned up on set of The Sharon Osbourne Show drunk yesterday. Luckily Sharon Osbourne had a killer excuse for being so hopelessly drunk:

“I’m pissed, but it’s my birthday.”

That’s right, yesterday was Sharon’s 54th. We wonder if she got her alcohol from Asda.

Still, at least we know that under all of those baggy nylon jumpers beats the heart of old hellraiser we know and love. We’re told that Sharon frequently exclaimed “Oh fuck, I made a mistake” throughout filming – some would argue that making the show was a mistake, but we’ll not dwell on that. We bet that’s the most entertainment her studio audience have had in a long time.

Normally The Sharon Osbourne Show is dullness incarnate and we get the sinking feeling that the producers of the show will edit all of Sharon’s wobbly drunken behaviour down to the normal boring crap. Such a pity. The show will be aired at 5pm tonight.

Tea time television would be so much more entertaining if presenters turn up pissed, don’t you think? Can you imagine the carnage if Richard and Judy were allowed to knock back absinthe in the Green Room? Television GOLD!

Sharon Osbourne’s Destructo Boozeathon The Sharon Osbourne Show will be broadcast tonight at 5pm. If any of you geeks manage to get a drunken Sharon Osbourne outburst captured on YouTube and quickly leave the link as a comment, we’ll send you a paltry token of our appreciation.

Read more:

Sharon Osbourne Hosts Talk Show While Drunk – Starpulse

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