If you had to compile a list of all the scary things out there, first down on the paper would probably be things like spiders, ghosts, Sharon Osbourne and terrorist attacks, but Jessica Simpson? Really?

If the things in Jessica Simpson’s head were real, then Jessica Simpson would be the most terrifying thing in the whole world. Also, degree courses would be taught about the mise-en-scene of the These Boots Are Made For Walking pop video and everyone’s skin would be painted orange in homage to her, but that’s beside the point. Jessica Simpson says that all men are scared of her. But it’s OK, because Jessica Simpson has also revealed that she’s completely in love with herself.

Forget the hatches or the cloud monster or the big statue of a foot; the big question about Lost is this: why don’t any of the cast of Lost seem to be able to drive a car properly?

Pretty much everyone who’s been involved in any small way with Lost has at one point or another got in trouble with police over their driving, and the latest Lost star to get in trouble for traffic violations is Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, who plays Mr Eko. Here at hecklerspray we’ve been playing an office game of Lost Cast Arrest Bingo and – now that Mr Eko has been arrested – we only need the polar bear from the first few episodes that everyone’s forgotten about to get busted for arson and that first prize is as good as ours.

Sad news. Well, sad and crushingly inevitable news; Steve Irwin, TV’s Crocodile Hunter, was killed today by a stingray barb through the chest while filming on a diving expedition. He was 44.

During his lifetime, Steve Irwin built both a lucrative business and a legion of fans from his endearingly enthusiastic wildlife hunts. Deadly snakes, deadly spiders, giant crocodiles – Steve Irwin could put his encyclopedic knowledge and slightly rabid tracking abilities to use for any of them. However, it was in the sea where Steve Irwin met his downfall. Reuters reports:

Witnesses and emergency officials said the freak accident happened while Irwin, 44, was filming an underwater documentary off Port Douglas in northern Queensland. “Steve was hit by a stingray in the chest,” said local diving operator Steve Edmondson, whose Poseidon boats were out on the Great Barrier Reef when the accident occurred. A helicopter rushed paramedics to nearby Low Isles where Irwin was taken for treatment, but he was dead before they arrived, police said. “He probably died from a cardiac arrest from the injury,” Edmondson said.

Dave Ireland, a fellow Australian wildlife filmmaker, was one of the first to offer condolences to the family of Steve Irwin, and he explained to an Australian radio station why stingrays are so dangerous:

“They have one or two barbs in the tails which are not only coated in toxic material but are also like a bayonet, like a bayonet on a rifle. If it hits any vital organs it’s as deadly as a bayonet.”

Steve Irwin is survived by his wife Terri and his two children Bindi Sue and Bob Clarence. Let’s hope that Steve Irwin will be remembered for his energy and desire to educate – and occasionally help – the public about dangerous animals rather than the incident where he dangled his baby in front of a crocodile or that awful film he made a few years ago.

Read more:

‘Crocodile Hunter’ Irwin Dies – Reuters