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TV News

Cheryl Cole Blows Up Simon Cowell With A Massive Bomb Given To Her By The Army

by Mof Gimmers

Have you ever looked at Simon Cowell and thought to yourself; ‘I’d like to get a load of plastic explosives and blow him and his botoxed face off the face of the Earth, just for giggles’? Well, that’s exactly what Cheryl Cole did yesterday. Remarkably, she did it with the help of the British Army. [...]

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SpongeBob SquarePants Gets Arrested Out Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood [Photo]

by Mof Gimmers

Oh SpongeBob SquarePants! You lovable oaf you! You’re like a diet Ren & Stimpy and we can’t knock you for it. You’re a delightfully odd chap and have delightfully odd chums. However. Things have taken a turn for the worse for SpongeBob as it transpires via various reports that he’s been arrested outside Grauman’s Chinese [...]

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No Scrubs! Cougar Town Gets Some Fresh Meat!

by Kris Silver

Calling all you single ladies! Have you starred in a successful sitcom in the last 20 years that’s completely overshadowed the rest of your career? Then good news! You can follow in the footsteps of Sarah Chalke and resign yourself to the fact that you’ll never amount to anything more than a 1 dimensional stereotype [...]

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Youngish Actor Briefly Considered To Be Better Thanks To Untimely Death

by Mof Gimmers

Poor actors. They spend their  days toiling on the boards to no avail, then one goes and dies before their time and they get all the plaudits. See, death does have some plus-points. For starters, these young perishers would remain completely anonymous ’til they passed away too young and now, thanks to these cruel twists [...]

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Soap Spoilers! Half Moons! Cold Feet! Tasers!

by Joanna Bolouri

It’s Monday you morons! Time to find out exactly what your favourite made up  people are up to this week in Soapland! MADE UP? That’s right, it isn’t real but was invented by people called writers who, if the hecklerspray scribes are anything to go by are most likely soulless villains, sniggering at you from behind their laptops. [...]

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Pamela Anderson Promises To Leave ‘Skidmark’ In Big Brother House

by Mof Gimmers

There’s not much of Pamela Anderson we haven’t seen, thanks to a couple of grainy sex tapes that proved very popular with lonely swine all those years ago. Yet, oddly, there’s something very likeable about Pammy. Is it because she’s self-deprecating? Probably not. You’re into the whole ‘boobs’ thing aren’t you? Well, less pleasant than [...]

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Reviving Dead Horses, Or, Red Dwarf And The Fast Show Return

by Kris Silver

It’s official! Comedy has finally run out of new ideas for TV shows and has decided to revive comedy staples from the 90s. Hurray for progress! It seems that, with My Family now coming to an end, we’ll all have to find something vaguely funny to show in its place… …not that My Family was [...]

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Cowell To Be Demonic Godfather To Amanda Holden’s Baby

by Michael Park

Britain’s Got Talent, the nation’s premier talent contest attracts thousands of willing participants each year. From dancing dogs to fire-eaters, gymnasts to geriatrics, the show has everything people could possibly want on a Saturday evening. That is, apart from three judges with any discernable talent. Much has been made of BGT judge Michael McIntyre’s innate [...]

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Soap Spoilers! Sperm! Smashes! Tuesday!

by Joanna Bolouri

It’s Monday! Do you know what this means?! That’s right, not only do you still smell like Jagerbombs and vomit from Saturday night but it’s also time to find out what’s coming up in Soapland! Yes, as usual we skip along to Eastenders first where Michael has yet another cunning plan up his sleeve. Oh [...]

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Why Does America Hate Cher’s Transgender Son? Because They’re Idiot Christians Being Forced To Watch TV

by Mof Gimmers

Cher has a son. He’s called Chaz. Chaz used to be a girl, but now isn’t. And that’s fine because what he looks at when naked in the mirror doesn’t affect anyone but him or who he has sex with. Right? WRONG. See, America – because it’s filled with judgemental Christian dickheads – completely believes [...]

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